Even though the holidays can be such a joyful and family-filled time for a lot of parents, they don’t come without their own degree of stress and chaos. And when you add in not only trying to provide a fun and memorable holiday season for your kids with taking care of your aging parents, it can feel like a lot from the moment you see the Christmas decor pop up in stores.
The last two months of the year are always so hectic, but when you’re a part of the “sandwich generation” of moms and parents who are juggling parenting their kids while also tending to their sick or aging parents who require more and more care, you can start to feel overextended and overwhelmed with your ever-growing holiday to-do list.
Luckily, there are ways to reduce that stress while sufficiently being there for both your kids, who, depending on their ages, are excited for Santa to come soon or to have two full weeks to sleep in, as well as your parents, who may need rides to medical appointments or just extra help around their house.
Here is a helpful guide on how to manage the holiday season with kids while also caring for aging parents.
Try to carve out time for special holiday traditions with your child while also helping them understand that the holidays might look a little different this year.
When it comes to the sandwich generation and the holiday season, things don’t have to look completely different but it can certainly be helpful to understand, for both yourself and your kids, that this December might be a little different than previous years simply because a good chunk of your time is already accounted for.
AgingCare.com explains that “even if the holiday celebrations have been downsized” to the point where you can’t participate in every single cookie exchange or attend every Christmas fair with your kids, it doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t try to enjoy a few things together as a family.
Be sure to get out a few holiday decorations that mean something to your family to help get in the festive spirit, and carve out some time to join both the kids and grandparents in a little tree trimming or a Christmas tea for the family because it’s really about enjoying the time you have together, not about saying yes to every single holiday invite.
Don’t be afraid to set hard boundaries, especially around planning extra meals and festivities that you simply don’t have the time or energy for.
There are always going to be obligations that pop up over the holiday season that you might feel tempted to take part in, but when you already have a full schedule that revolves around your own commitments and doing things for both your kids and parents, it’s important to stick to your boundaries and learn to say no when you need to.
Variations Psychology explains that it can be quite an emotional and even physically demanding time when you’re being pulled in a million different directions, but when it comes to the holiday season and you have friends and family vying for even more of your time, it’s crucial to communicate your boundaries clearly and try not to feel guilty about needing a little extra headspace.
As much fun as it is to cook a big turkey dinner or host a holiday cocktail party for your partner’s work colleagues, all of those things require planning and prep work as well as additional time and energy you simply might not have available this holiday season.
If you find yourself wanting to do a little something that’s easier on you and way less stressful during the Christmas season, why not take a drive around a different part of town to look at all the holiday lights or order some pizza and put on Home Alone and Elf for everyone to enjoy. There really can be beauty in simplicity during the holidays, especially when you’re surrounded by the ones you love.
The holidays are a great time to help practice empathy and compassion and involve your kids in special activities or presents for your parents.
No matter what season we’re in, our kids can be such little sponges who take in so much of who we are as parents and caregivers, even if we’re completely unaware that they’re watching. For so many families, the holiday season becomes a time when you show the ones around you some extra love and care, but wouldn’t it be a cool idea if your kids learned how to be a better person simply by following your lead this holiday season?
Woombie.com explains that if you recently had your aging parents move in with you, or even if you’ve been spending some extra time in their home lately, it gives you the perfect opportunity to teach your kids about the value of empathy, compassion, and being supportive.
The holiday season is the perfect time to involve your kids in picking out a thoughtful gift to give your parents or taking on an extra obligation, like shoveling their snowy driveway or helping to clean out the basement, to show their grandparents that they’re thinking of them during this Christmas season.
Check to see if your parent needs any special services or helpful visitors set up during the holiday season.
It can be a bit of a slippery slope when you’re looking after aging parents, especially if they don’t have it in them to admit where they’re currently at in life and may need some extra help in certain arenas.
Reader’s Digest Canada notes that getting to know your parents’ inner support network, whether that be their neighbors or doctors, can help to give you a real feel for how your parents are doing and where there might be some gaps that need filling in.
More from LittleThings: How To Not Only Survive But Thrive During Your Holiday Season With Teens At Home
If you’re unsure of what to get your parents for Christmas but want to make sure you pick out something useful, it might be fruitful to sit down and ask them if you could set up a cleaner to come in or pay for a meal delivery service to drop off meals every other week. Even though the holidays are a time for giving, it’s always best to be upfront and discuss things with your parents beforehand to see how they feel about it and to make sure you don’t offend them or overstep.
Ensure you take some time for yourself and try to put your health at the forefront because the holiday season can easily lead to burnout.
As parents and caregivers, we may always want to give our absolute most, especially during the month of December, but when your plate is so incredibly full that practically everything is either being piled a mile high or falling off the sides, it’s important to make some time for yourself to ensure you don’t get burned out.
The University of Rochester Medical Center suggests that when you feel things starting to gather up, which can easily happen during the hectic holiday season, try to open up to other family members and loved ones about pitching in more and taking on some of those obligations and tasks related to both your kids and parents.
And when you feel the need for a spa day or even just an extra-long bath, be sure to grant yourself those little breaks during the holidays. The festive season is about showing the ones you love how much you care, but if you don’t pause to think about yourself and your own needs, it’s likely that you won’t be able to sufficiently show up for your kids and parents this season either.
