Teenagers: Even though we love them dearly and have all the empathy in the world for what they’re going through during those rough and hormonal teenage years, it can also feel a bit challenging at times when you’re trying to parent them or even just be there for them as someone they can talk to when they’re going through a hard time.
When it comes to the holiday season and you have your teenager at home for a couple of weeks straight, it can absolutely translate to a really nice time for the family while spending some quality time together, but it also doesn’t mean that the extra time at home won’t be a bit trying or overwhelming for everyone.
If you’re looking to cut some of that holiday tension and genuinely just have a more enjoyable holiday season with your teenager at home, there are certainly many ways to make the days a little easier and stress-free.
So, let’s dig into our guide on how to survive and thrive during the holiday season with teens at home.
Remember that your teen needs their own time and to exert their independence, so be ready to let them explore their own private time.
As much as you may want to fill up the family calendar with loads of fun holiday outings such as ice skating at the park or participating in a cookie exchange with your cousins, when you have a teen at home who wants to explore and be in control of their own social life, it’s likely best to leave them some space to do just that.
The Clay Center For Young Healthy Minds explains that there has to be some give and take when it comes to deciding what your teen has to take part in when it comes to holiday events and what they may want to skip out on to hang out with friends or even have a little time to themselves.
Even though the holidays are so much about family and spending that quality time together, you never want it to feel forced or for your teen to literally be counting down the minutes until they can run back into their room, take a deep breath, and get situated on the Xbox again. It’s important to give them some of that freedom to make their own choices about what events they want to attend during the holidays because simply put, they’ll likely enjoy themselves more and show up with more of an open mind and positive attitude.
Encourage and help your teen learn important life skills during the holidays to help build their confidence.
If you’re looking for ways to bond with your teen during the holidays, the extra time at home can be the ideal time for some special teaching moments that can only help your young adult learn a little bit about getting through life.
Hello! notes that it’s important not to immediately get in list-making mode and start assigning chores you want your teen to do before the in-laws come for a visit because that may cause tension and resentment. But if you make your time together more about seamlessly guiding them through some important life skills that they’re interested in, like if they’ve continually been curious about cooking a turkey or what taking the car in for a service entails, give them the option to learn about what happens during these kinds of processes.
Not only does something like this help keep your teen occupied during the holiday season with tasks they’ll eventually need to learn about in order to be a functioning adult, but it also helps in their “life skill development” in a way that doesn’t feel forced but more collaborative and hopefully fun.
Make time to honor those special traditions that are important to your teen and that they truly love.
So much about being a family that really works and loves each other unconditionally, even throughout the often anxiety-inducing holiday season, is learning to compromise and actively take part in activities and holiday rituals that mean something to our loved ones, even if we only feel lukewarm about them ourselves.
Parenthetical Resources for Parenting Tweens & Teens via The University of Wisconsin-Madison suggests that making it a priority to “honor the traditions” that are important to your teen not only shows them that you’re paying attention to what they love and enjoy, but you’re also willing to take a front row seat in participating yourself which demonstrates openness and vulnerability.
So, whether it’s taking the time to head out to the snowy Christmas tree lot and picking out your holiday tree like the Griswolds from National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation that your teen loves doing or spending a full day in their pajamas and ordering in Chinese food while watching The Holiday with their friends, their holiday traditions matter, too. And if you take the time and make an effort to show them that, it’s very likely that they’ll feel heard, accepted, and loved this holiday season.
Keep communication as open as possible and understand that you won’t win every single battle with your teen.
One thing that can often feel like a task any time of year but is equally important during the holidays is keeping those lines of communication fully open with your teen to avoid misunderstandings and arguments.
Insider notes that since there are a good portion of family and friend get-togethers during the month of December, it makes the most sense to “establish your expectations” and fully communicate with your teen when and for how long you’d like them to attend each gathering and if you’ll need help getting everyone drinks or setting the table or even entertaining their cousins. In order for those special holiday moments to go off without a hitch, it just makes the most sense to speak up beforehand and let your teen know what’s expected of them.
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The online publication explains that if you feel like the occasion is something important that “could build relationships or create lasting lifetime memories,” you can push or exert those boundaries a little harder, but you might not always come out on top. It’s important to remember that you’re not going to win every battle with a teenager who would rather either spend their time solo or with their friends and it’s important to communicate with them and give them some of those allowances to make their own decisions.
Don’t be afraid to have some lazy days with your teen that will likely result in some much-needed quality time.
One aspect of the holiday season that can be a lot of fun for burnt out parents of teens who are in desperate need of some downtime come December, is to look at their teen’s lax schedule and how they spend their time and simply follow suit.
Especially if you’re looking to spend some quality time with your teen during the holidays without overstepping, if you see them vegging on the couch for a day and catching up on their seasonal romantic movies, pop an extra large bowl of popcorn and ask if you can join them on the couch.
If you’re completely tired of cooking and can’t decide what to eat, you could always ask your teen what they’re in the mood for in terms of takeout food options and when everything arrives, you could lay out a blanket in the living room, grab some leftover sweet holiday treats, and just enjoy some goodies along with some quiet and reflective time with your teen. Quality time together doesn’t have to be overcomplicated as teens can often appreciate keeping things simple and chill.
