Many families do as much as they can to get ready for a new baby. Obviously, parents get busy finding what the latest gear is and making sure they have everything they need, but many grandparents often begin their own preparations.
One grandmother-to-be recently shared on Reddit that her son-in-law approached her with a request that seemed unusual to her. The woman's daughter is expecting her first child, and her son-in-law believes the baby should have its own room in the grandmother's home. Unfortunately, she doesn't have an extra room to give.
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Her son-in-law says this is what 'every' grandmother does.
The woman explains that her daughter and son-in-law were visiting when he dropped the info:
"Yesterday they visited me at the house to talk about the baby mostly. Tom asked me if I had emptied one of the rooms so I could turn it into a nursery yet, I was confused by his question and asked him why. He said that he expected me to, I asked why again, he looked at me and said that every decent grandmother prepares a nursery at her home specifically to welcome her grandson as a new member of the extended family."
It turns out his own mother has already set up a room for the baby.
"Then went on to give examples of how common this tradition is," the woman continued. "I don't know why but his words irked me. I asked why can't his mom prepare one for her grandson since this is her grandson too, He laughed and said that his mom already has one prepared that she paid for herself. I have to mention Tom's family is well off unlike us, we don't have an [available] room or money to afford a whole nursery, yet, Tom insisted it's [necessary] and that I make efforts to make sure my grandson gets everything he needs whenever they visit. I looked at my daughter wondering if she agreed with this and by the looks of it, she did."
Then he told her that not having a room will impact how much time she gets with the baby.
"I told Tom that I don't have the space or money to make this happen but he argued that not making this happen will affect how many visits I get compared to his mom who's fully prepared and 'considerate' of her grandbaby's needs."
Her daughter suggested that the woman move her sons into the same room.
"Avery finally spoke up but told me to please try to move my 16 yo son to stay with his 14 yo brother. I said no the boys are old enough to get their own room but Tom pitched in saying boys can share a room since they're boys but I wasn't convinced. In fact, I was upset they came up with this suggestion. Avery didn't like that and took it as in I don't care about her baby and don't want to do anything for him but that is just not true. The conversation turned into an argument and they left minutes later."
Now her husband is mad at her, too.
"Avery must've called my husband because he yelled at me when he came home saying this was no way to treat my daughter and our grandchild, I told him the story and he accused me of favoring the boys over Avery like I always do but this time I just don't think her request is in any way reasonable."
Her son-in-law tried to compromise, but she's not budging.
"Tom offered to pay for everything and all I have to do is empty my son's room. I said no and the argument started again with Tom saying I'm refusing to work with them on a compromise, but this is not a compromise to me."
People are pretty floored.
The top comment pretty much sums it up: "They want your children who live there all of the time to be forced to share a room so that your grandchild, who will occasionally visit, can have it's own nursery in your home?
"They have lost their minds. What a completely inappropriate thing to ask of your parents. It's totally normal for a grandparent to keep some toys and possibly a pop-up crib in their home for occasional visits. This is not normal or acceptable behavior."
For one thing, babies don't even really need their own rooms at first.
As another commenter pointed out, there's not really a point: "My wife is pregnant right now and… newborns dont even really need a nursery when they're first born there is no rush on this. In many cultures (and according to some safety research) the baby basically lives in a box. It doesn't need a complex permanent nursery. This one is such a wild request to me & makes me glad i have normal friggin in-laws."
Ultimately, the kids who live in the home should get to keep their rooms.
A final commenter put things very nicely: "Your daughter's request was unreasonable. You're under no obligation to adjust your house to [accommodate] someone else's children, regardless of who they are.. Your children are more important than your grandchildren for having a comfortable environment at your home. Since they actually live there."
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