Mom Stops Son’s Allowance After He Throws Out Stepfather’s Bible But There’s More To It

"My husband came up with a bunch of nicknames to call my son," she describes. "It all started when they fight, and in each fight or argument, my husband comes up with a new nickname to call my son til they fight again or til my son apologizes. Nicknames like 'dipstick, Stone cold embarrassement, assclown, imbecile, dweeb etc…'"

"Since their latest fight, my husband has been calling my son 'assclown'. my son spoke up about how annoying it was and threatened my husband that if he don't stop, then he'll throw away something of his."

"Days ago, My son had friends over while I was out," she continues. "Clearly, my husband called him 'assclown' in front of them which caused a huge fight between them. My husband later called me panicking saying my son took his Bible after their fight and refused to give it back. I went home and asked my son what happened, he told me my husband embarrassed him by calling him this nickname in front of his friends."

"I told him I'd talk to my husband later but asked him to give back the bible. He said he no longer had it because he threw it out, I was in shock I told him this was offensive to his stepdad and his religion and he should have never resorted to this type of retaliation. He said he already warned my husband and that he could easily go get a replacement from the church."

"I got mad because this was a line he shouldn't have crossed, throwing out stuff is never okay..I punished him and took his allowance for the rest of the month. My son argued about how unfair this was and that my husband got away though he started it. I refused to argue because he was just lashing out and not ready to listen. I exited the room then spoke to my husband about it. My husband promised this all will stop if my son gets properly punished for what he did and I let him know he got his punishment."

"But, my son wasn't having it, he called his grandmother (my exMIL) and she tried to come to my home and yell at me but I refused to let her in," the mom explains. "She texted that I was being unfair and just wrong for punishing my son. I replied that he did something worth punishing and nomatter who started what, throwing away stuff isn't okay. She kept calling but that was it for me."

The top comment sums it up: "Why would you take your husbands side over your sons in the first place? Secondly, your husband sounds like a TOXIC and ABUSIVE adult. Lastly, you’re turning a blind eye to abuse. You’re allowing for trauma to take place in your sons life. I’m so glad his grandmother is standing up for him, sadly sounds like she’s the only one in his corner."

Another commenter added, "[The original poster's (OP's)] husband seem like a toxic adult and parental figure. What he's calling her son aren't nicknames – they're insults, and very clearly so. How one could use such words to call their child is beyond me.

"Why did OP do nothing about the abusive name calling, but jumped to punish her son once he did something to retaliate? Throwing out someone's property is not okay, but here it's obviously a reaction to longstanding abuse. OP prioritizes her husband over her son and is doing everything she could to let it show."

A third person rounded it out nicely: "First of all, you should not comply with your husbands request to 'stay out of it' while he fights nonstop with and insults your son. Calling someone insulting and degrading names is not an acceptable way of working out a disagreement with a teenager, especially if you’re an adult and authority figure. You allowing your husband to treat your kid this way is not okay. Second of all, you wanna talk about being disrespectful to your husband’s religion, let’s talk about your husbands behavior. Instead of throwing out his bible, your son should have shown his stepfather Colossians 3:8 – 'But now you must also rid yourself of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips.' Your husband threw out his Bible long before your son did."