In 2021, Holly Madison opened up about the time she spent living in the Playboy Mansion, and some of what she's revealing is downright appalling. The Playboy bunny was on the Power: Hugh Hefner podcast, where she really opened up about her indoctrination into Hugh Hefner's world.
The Playboy mogul died in 2017. Since then, Holly has shared a lot about what her experiences with him were like. Now she's calling some of the experiences "traumatic," including the first night she ever spent with him.
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Holly said she was really nervous and didn't know what to expect, but that she definitely thought she'd be able to leave if she felt uncomfortable. Ultimately, that's not what happened. She says she Hugh was literally "pushed" on top of her.
Holly admits she was somewhat naïve about what to expect. "I didn't really know what went on with them sexually," she said. "I knew there must be something and I was prepared for that. I wasn't prepared for what would eventually happen."
Still, she wasn't totally anticipating things going as far as they did. "I wasn't necessarily expecting to have sex that night, I thought it would be more of a first date — even though obviously it's not a very traditional first date," she said.
"I thought it would be more the type of thing where I saw what happened, saw what was going on. If I wasn't comfortable with it I wouldn't have to do anything and I could make my decision on whether I wanted to come back for date No. 2 or not."
Ultimately, the pressure was too great. Holly ended up feeling forced into having sex with Hugh, both emotionally and physically. "He was literally pushed on top of me. And after it happened, I was just mortified and embarrassed and it had way more of an emotional impact on me than I thought it would."
Holly says that first night was really "traumatic." But the next day, she asked Hugh if she could move in, and he agreed. She says that by gaining what she wanted — getting to live in the mansion — out of the situation, it made her feel as if she was in control.
However, once Holly was in that living situation, she saw a lot of other really disturbing things go on. She claims that Hugh Hefner had a disgusting habit of taking naked pictures of the women on a disposable camera when they were highly intoxicated, therefore they weren't able to give consent. Then, he'd pass copies of the pictures out and put them in a scrapbook.
"I don't know if he just assumed that was OK because all these women want to be in the magazine so bad," she added. "They must be OK with getting naked, so I'm going to take pictures while they're wasted and just hand those pictures out. That's the kind of thing that can make you feel kind of stuck in a situation or overinvested. … It's one of those things that makes you feel a little more backed into a corner."
