Raising stepsiblings at the same time can be tough. No matter what choices you make and how well a family blends, there are still going to be decisions to make that could hurt someone involved.
One dad recently shared on Reddit that he made a major mistake: He missed his biological daughter's wedding because he chose to attend his stepdaughter's instead. The dad says that he put every effort into making sure he could be at both weddings, which took place a day apart, but the people of Reddit aren't sure he really did.
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Here's the dad's story:
The dad kicks things off with a major red flag: He wants to make sure everyone knows his daughter is the problem here.
"My daughter has always been resentful of my stepdaughter and growing up, we've had to deal with a lot of issues related to this resentment," he began.
He's never been able to treat both girls the same way.
The dad says that his custody arrangement with his ex means that, unfortunately, the two girls have never had the same relationship with him:
"The unfortunate reality was that my ex and I had shared custody so naturally, I saw my daughter less then my stepdaughter. My stepdaughter's biological father passed away and I've treated her like my own since she was 2. I love them both equally and I've never shown preferential treatment towards my stepdaughter, something my daughter always accuses me off."
Both women got married recently.
Both of his daughters got married very recently:
"In 2019, my stepdaughter sent out a save the date for her wedding for a Saturday in September. My daughter immediately called me, furious and accusing her stepsister of deliberately planning her wedding the day before hers."
His stepdaughter denied choosing the date on purpose.
His daughter was upset, so the dad says he checked in with his stepdaughter to see if her date choice was on purpose.
"My daughter sent her own save the date a week later for the Sunday on that same weekend," he explained.
"I talked to my stepdaughter who said it was pure coincidence and that she doesn't even talk to my daughter after all those years of them not getting along."
They both asked him to walk them down the aisle.
The dad goes on to explain that his daughter's wedding was several hours away, and both women asked him to walk them down the aisle. He felt obligated to say yes to both of them.
"The issue was that my daughter's wedding was happening in another state that is a 13 hour drive away.
"And both of them wanted me to walk them down the aisle.
"All of my extended family chose to attend my daughter's wedding over my stepdaughter's."
He planned to make the drive overnight.
"I did the math and I calculated that if I left my stepdaughter's wedding at 10pm and drove through the night, I'd make it with 2 hours to freshen up and get ready.
"Unfortunately, I got lost along the way plus traffic and I missed the actual wedding ceremony. My daughter's stepfather ended up walking her down the aisle by himself."
He knows he failed his daughter.
He acknowledges that he messed up but then says people are attacking his stepdaughter:
"I feel like I tried my best to make both my children happy but I failed one of them completely. My stepdaughter and her husband have been attacked on facebook by my daughter's friends who is claiming that my stepdaughter planned it on purpose."
He tried to buy his daughter out.
The dad says he gave his daughter money for a trip since he messed up the wedding:
"I gave my daughter and son-in-law an additional gift of money to go to Japan, which has always been their dream. It was a lot of money but I hoped it would be a sort of way for me ask forgiveness.
"They had to postpone their trip because of [the health crisis] but my daughter refuses to even consider any sort of forgiveness."
People are really, really not supportive of the dad.
Many people are confused about a lot of parts of the story. For one, why didn't he just fly to his daughter's wedding? One commenter asked:
"My first thought was to wonder why OP [the original poster] didn’t book a flight instead of driving 13 hours. Surely if OP has money to splash for a holiday for his daughter he could have booked a plane and hire [a] car."
He also chose to stay late.
Another person noted that the dad could have made the choice to leave the first wedding early but didn't.
"He didn't leave until 10PM to start the drive. He stayed for the entire reception."
He tried to solve his problem with money.
Giving his daughter money for the trip isn't being seen very favorably either.
"They put him in a bad position but he had a variety of other options," a commenter said. "Leaving sooner, flying, talking to them before a date was set. And instead he left as late as possible and threw money at the problem as though that would fix not being present throughout her life."
These stories are based on posts found on Reddit. Reddit is a user-generated social news aggregation, web content rating, and discussion website where registered members submit content to the site and can up- or down-vote the content. The accuracy and authenticity of each story cannot be confirmed by our staff.
