Weddings are a celebration of love. They are also hard to plan, especially when family members have strong opinions on how things should go. The bride and groom have to balance their wants and needs while appeasing relatives. One bride took to Reddit to share her dilemma.
Her future father-in-law offered to walk her down the aisle as her parents are not in the picture. She thanked him but graciously declined his offer. She wants her sister to do it because she feels like her sibling raised her. Her father-in-law is not taking this well. He thinks he should be the one doing it. The bride asked Reddit’s AITA forum if she was wrong for rejecting his offer.
Things started off well.
At first this bride was thankful for her father-in-law's offer. She is 25 and her fiancé is 26. “A few months ago [my fiancé’s] dad offered to walk me down the aisle even though he and my fiancé's mom knew I had already asked my sister to do it,” she explained. “At first I thought it was sweet because they explained it as my sister could be my bridesmaid or matron of honor. But I explained my sister wanted to and I wanted her to as well. But they have not let it go and now they're offended that I refused the offer.”
She is more than a sister.
The bride goes on to give insights on why having her sister walk her down the aisle is so important to her. “She raised me and our siblings,” she explained. “She's the oldest and was parentified when she was way too young. She was our savior. She was our everything. I love her more than I can express. She gave up a childhood and her young adult life for us. And she did an awesome job for a kid but it was really unfair. She never deserved to have her childhood taken away or most of her 20s. It wasn't right but it was our reality.”
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It's her time to shine.
The bride knows this is non-negotiable for her. She wants to celebrate her sister. “The two of us are especially close and I have always tried to honor her for everything while also having a more mutual give and take relationship as adults,” she gushed. “But moments like this, for us, are when she deserves to shine and have a spotlight on her for doing what she did for me/us. Nobody in my life deserves this honor more. And it wouldn't be anywhere near as meaningful with anyone else.”
Her fiancé understands.
Thankfully her husband-to-be does not share his parents’ views. “My fiancé understands this perfectly and has been on my side,” she continued. “He has spoken to his parents to get them to stop. But they have made it clear they feel I am rejecting FIL and saying he's not good enough. They feel like I should be looking to them more as parental figures because I don't have the traditional ones myself. I don't. But I have my sister and she's the person responsible for who I am today.”
She concludes by asking if she was wrong for not wanting her future father-in-law to walk her down the aisle. She is sick of all the drama.
The verdict is in.
Reddit is completely on team bride. They think the father-in-law is completely out of line.
“MIL and FIL really need to understand this and get over their feelings,” one user commented.
Could it be because the sister is a woman?
Some users suspect there are some outdated and sexist views at work here.
“Your fil is misogynist,” wrote one user. “He doesn’t believe that a woman has the right to walk you down the aisle. Nor does he believe that your word should be taken into consideration.”
Is the marriage in danger of not happening?
One user had some advice: “Why are people like this? I would reconsider this marriage. It sounds like you will have issues with them for the rest of their lives.”
The bride rejected this immediately. “I'm not going to reconsider my marriage to a wonderful man I love and who loves and stands by me, over his parents,” she replied.
Change of heart?
Regardless of how the bride and groom choose to proceed, they can rest assured that strangers on the internet have their back. It’s reassuring to have an outsider’s opinion. Here’s hoping that the in-laws can come around on this issue.
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