Did you ever care about the genders of your kids? Perhaps you didn't necessarily want a son or didn't necessarily care to have a daughter. The cards play differently for everyone. Well, one woman took to Reddit to see if she was in the wrong for telling a stranger that she never desired and "didn't try for a girl." How would you have responded? Do you think she's in the wrong or completely within her rights?
The woman sets the story scene.
The original poster lets readers know that she has four sons. "They are 14, 12, 8, and 4. The older two are biological and the younger two were adopted after a birth complication made us infertile," she shares, and then goes on to talk about taking her younger boys to the park one weekend.
She runs into a couple at the park.
At the park, she starts talking with the couple and mentions that she has four boys. The lady apparently felt bad for her. "She said something like, 'Oh, you poor thing. I wanted a girl too but he (pointing to her husband) didn't want to have a 3rd.'"
The woman shares she didn't feel she needed a girl.
"I told her that I didn't try for a girl and that if I wanted a girl we could have put that in our adoption paperwork but we didn't have a gender preference," the woman wrote. "I had no strong desire for a girl and love having sons so she has no reason to feel sorry for me."
Offense is taken.
By this time, the woman shared that she was offended by the other lady's "poor thing" comment. "Like my boys aren't good enough for me and she said it right in front of them. They already have to field questions about being adopted. They shouldn't have to feel bad about their gender too, you know?"
The other lady gets upset.
Apparently, the lady didn't take the Reddit user's response lightly. She got mad.
The OP gets told she's rude.
The lady tells the mom that she was being rude for no reason. She then walks away.
The OP's sister-in-law also feels like she was wrong.
"I spoke to my SIL about it and she also felt I didn't handle it correctly," the OP shared. "She has 3 girls and 1 boy and said it is just a normal thing people comment on. She said people will tell her that her son is going to be feminine because he only has sisters and she just shrugs it off so I should have done the same."
The OP wonders if she is wrong.
The woman, clearly confused by everyone's feelings about her reaction, asks if she's in the wrong. And people gave their opinions.
The people of Reddit share their thoughts.
"NTA, she only accused you of being rude because she was embarrassed about making an assumption," one person commented.
"NTA, just because people commonly feel justified in making comments like that doesn’t mean it’s ok," another person noted. "It’s not small talk. It’s rude."
These stories are based on posts found on Reddit. Reddit is a user-generated social news aggregation, web content rating, and discussion website where registered members submit content to the site and can up- or down-vote the content. The accuracy and authenticity of each story cannot be confirmed by our staff.
