In-laws can be a wonderful source of support for their grandchildren. That support sometimes comes at a cost. A new mom is learning this the hard way. She recently gave birth to twins and wanted to honor her own father by giving his name to her son. Her father-in-law was not pleased with this.
The father-in-law believes the newborn should have been named after him. He wants it more than the other grandpa. The exhausted new mom took to Reddit’s popular AITA forum to see if she was in the wrong. Her husband fully supports her decision and has a complicated relationship with his dad.
Introductions are in order...
The new mom starts by giving the forum some essential background information. “I (26F) recently had twins with my husband Harry (30M),” she began. “I love my babies so much but the labour was a nightmare m. It was extremely traumatic for my husband and I, and we’ve agreed that we are definitely not having anymore kids. I was labouring for two days and throughout the process we kept our families updated.”
This is so touching...
After the traumatic birth, the woman’s dad did something that was just so touching. “Everyone was fussing over the babies and my poor husband who only had about 4 hours sleep for the whole two days was napping. My dad, however, sat by me first and just held my hand for a bit,” the mom went on to say. “When I told him to go get some cuddles in with the twins, he said ‘I’m here to see my baby’ meaning me. It was honestly so sweet and I started tearing up. I didn’t even realise how invisible I felt when my husband was sleeping and my dad was there to make sure I was also being taken care of. He took me down to the hospital cafe and we had breakfast together while the babies were with everyone else.”
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This inspired the mom.
This act of kindness stayed with the new mom for days. She decided to honor her dad because of it. “I kept thinking about what my dad did for the next few days and I decided that I would give my newborn son my father’s name as his middle name,” she continued. “My husband was totally onboard with this. However, this is where the problem began. We knew my FIL would be pretty pissed at this.”
He wants a namesake.
The father-in-law sounds pretty entitled. “He always wanted a grandson named after him but it’s pretty clear now he won’t get one,” the mom explained. His other son doesn’t want kids so this would be his only chance. The new dad has a tense relationship with the new grandpa so did not want to name his son after him. The compromise was to give the new baby boy the same initials as the pushy grandpa but with the change up this won’t happen either.
The father-in-law is mad.
The father-in-law didn’t take the change in names well. “He lost his mind,” the mom explained. “He said that this was something he always wanted and we were throwing it in his face by giving the baby my father’s name as his middle name.” His wife sided with him as well. The other grandpa was “honored” by the name choice but doesn’t want to cause any drama within the family. The new mom wonders if she is in the wrong here.
The verdict is in.
Reddit is overwhelmingly on the new mom’s side. She does not owe her father-in-law anything. Users also think the other grandpa is pretty great.
“I have fallen slightly in love with your dad,” gushed one commenter. “What a touching moment for you to have shared and I’m sorry it’s being tainted by your FIL. I’m glad your husband is supporting you.”
Helpful Advice...
One user experienced a similar situation and offered advice: “My FIL tried to tell us we should name one of our kids after him and got cranky when we said no. I told him each of our kids has his last name, which was more than my dad got, so he should be happy about that. He hasn't said anything else about it since, so maybe try that tactic.”
Cheeky advice...
Another user’s advice was a little spicier: “In general, I only have one advice for new parents: do whatever the [expletive] you want; listen to all advice with an uncompromising smile, nod a bit, say nothing and then keep on doing whatever you want. Everyone's going to come with the 'you should's, and you're not in a position to waste energy on unnecessary discussion.”
Whatever this new mom decides to do next, she can rest assured that Reddit users believe she is on the right side of things here. Her dad also has his own fan club on the site.
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