Much has been made about Harry and Meghan Markle's decision to step back from the royal family, but one thing that hasn't really been discussed is that when it comes to younger siblings, the royal family definitely has a bit of a mess on its hands.
It seems that the firstborn royals are generally responsible and circumspect, likely due to the roles they know they will assume as adults. And the second-born and everyone who follows? They have a little more wiggle room. In other words: Younger-sibling syndrome is real.
It seems that there are definitely plenty of examples of how birth order seems to dictate just about everything when it comes to the royals.
Queen Elizabeth saw younger-sibling syndrome play out firsthand. Her sister, Princess Margaret, was definitely quite the character. In fact, People magazine has reported that the Queen had been particularly sensitive to Harry and Meghan's needs as a result of everything she experienced with Margaret.
Royal historian Robert Lacey told People, "She has a particular sensitivity to what Harry has been going through because of her closeness to Margaret and seeing the same dramas and tensions played out two generations ago. The younger-sibling syndrome is an enduring problem. The system has not found a way of giving them the recognition that they need."
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And it seems that when the younger siblings don't get the recognition they want or need from their family, they find other ways to get it. Robert also noted that "Until Elizabeth produced heirs, Margaret was a possible future Queen. It is a family situation of conflict that goes back over generations."
The same is true of Prince Harry. Until Prince William started having children, Harry was fourth in line for the throne. True, it wasn't ever really likely that he would ascend the throne (and by all accounts he has been thoroughly uninterested in doing so), but being raised knowing you're that close to a seat of such historical power must definitely be an unusual way to grow up.
Robert Lacey also said that while the Queen loved and supported her grandson, it's unlikely she could have personally imagined making a choice like he did. As the eldest, she put duty above all else. "The Queen will be very disappointed. Her job is to survive," Robert told People. The magazine added that she also has to "ensure that the monarch survives. But this isn’t the first time she has encountered an unhappy royal spare — and it was her experience with her younger sister Princess Margaret that influenced her decision to let Harry set out on his own."
So in that way, it's somewhat comforting that the Queen was able to draw on her own lived experiences with her younger sister to find a way to support Harry, even if she doesn't agree with his choices. It shows that she loves and values Harry, and that she wants him to live a life that he feels comfortable living.
Tellingly, another historian, Ingrid Seward, has noted that the Queen's decision to leave a period of review may be more about welcoming Harry back … and maybe only Harry.
"She won’t dwell on the exit. She is very pragmatic. She has left the door open for Harry especially — the year of review was with Harry in mind."
Wait, whaaaat? The implication here seems to be that some in royal circles believe there's a chance that Prince Harry will return to the UK on his own. Given his repeatedly expressed devotion to his wife and child, this seems highly unlikely. It's pretty unfortunate that anyone in royal circles might be expecting Harry to change his mind.
The Queen famously had to weigh in on Princess Margaret's relationship with Pete Townsend, an air force officer who was recently divorced. The family did not believe the match was suitable, and Margaret ended up marrying Antony Armstrong-Jones, or Tony as he was often called. The marriage was a troubled one from the start, with Tony unsure that he wanted to be part of the family.
"There was so much he would have to give up, not least his other girlfriends, one of whom confided to a friend that Tony had wept on her bare breasts at the prospect of getting married to royalty."
That marriage ultimately failed, after years of tumultuous, and public, headlines. So it's entirely believable that living through that sort of coverage once was enough for Queen Elizabeth to know that she needed to support Harry and Meghan through this transition, no matter what the outcome may be.
Harry has also been dealing with an ongoing rift with his brother, Prince William, who allegedly cautioned his younger brother against rushing things with Meghan Markle. The two also stopped working together officially, though many have noted that the arrangement "was only going to work until they married — and it went on a while longer than perhaps was originally thought."
