Becoming a stepparent is a wonderful thing, but that doesn't mean it's always going to be easy.
The 35-year-old woman recently shared on Reddit that she's been married to her 43-year-old husband for eight years. He has a son from a previous relationship, and she's been raising the boy alongside her husband since he was 6 years old. She explains to Reddit that they're pretty close.
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"I pretty much raised him since his mother has always been out of the picture, and even though he doesn't call me mom we have a great relationship."
However, her stepson recently turned 14, and now her husband is introducing new dynamics into a relationship that has seemed to be pretty solid.
It all started when the boy hit puberty.
The woman says her stepson recently started puberty, and now her husband has a whole new host of concerns. They mostly have to do with what kind of swimsuit she's wearing this year:
"Ever since my step-son (14M) hit puberty, my husband started commenting on my clothes and asking me to not wear a two-piece bikini around my step-son."
Her stepson is Muslim, and her husband is using that as justification.
Her husband says he's worried about what she wears because her stepson is Muslim:
"He justified it by explaining that in his culture 'He's from a Muslim Arab country' you should dress modestly around non family members. I was very offended since I consider him my son and I raised him since he was six years old."
The other night she was shopping online, and things got worse.
Summer's coming up, and the woman was recently shopping online for bikinis when the conversation came up again:
"Last night I was online shopping while me and my husband were laying in bed. When I started browsing through bikinis, my husband asked me to not purchase any two-piece bikinis since it's inappropriate in his opinion."
"I went off on him and told him that he's the one being inappropriate and weird and that his son is also my son. We argued for an hour and ended up leaving the house."
Her husband isn't Muslim himself.
She also added that her husband isn't Muslim; he left the religion over 15 years ago. Now she wants to know who is really the problem here.
From the jump, people are against the husband's stance.
One person said her husband is being 'weird and disgusting.'
One commenter was especially appalled by the husband's behavior, but another pointed out that it's possible he's been spurred on by the stepson himself:
"He may have told his dad he was uncomfortable with how you dressed (not necessarily in a a sexual/tempted way) and it was blown out of proportion and made disturbing by your husband."
Others say this is manipulation, plain and simple.
"This is the beginnings of an abusive relationship on his part. He is trying to be controlling, it will start with that and progressively lead to every aspect of your life if you let it happen. Stand your ground and don't give in to his manipulation tactics."
The idea of respecting a religion also gets discussed.
One excellent commenter drew a clear line between respecting someone's religion and expecting everyone to cater to what you believe:
"Here's the thing about culture and beliefs and respecting them; respecting somebody’s right to practice their culture and to hold beliefs means that you do not make laws to ban or attempt to restrict on one's right to express their beliefs and culture in public spaces and their own private property."
They continued, "However, IT DOES NOT MEAN that said person is owed that everyone around them changes their ways to accommodate their beliefs or cultures, nor to control what others wear, think, believe, eat, drink and practice."
Ultimately, her husband is putting way too much emphasis on her.
Another commenter made an excellent point as well: This probably has nothing to do with her stepson and everything to do with what her husband himself believes:
"This actually isn't about your son. It's about your husband's ridiculous belief that you are responsible for how boys and men respond to your appearance."
These stories are based on posts found on Reddit. Reddit is a user-generated social news aggregation, web content rating, and discussion website where registered members submit content to the site and can up- or down-vote the content. The accuracy and authenticity of each story cannot be confirmed by our staff.
