If you want to learn something about, say, how to make really good spaghetti, go talk to an Italian grandma. But if you want to learn about how to be an ally to the LGBTQIA+ community, go and talk to today's youth. Seriously.
Kids these days are basically experts at celebrating differences. Perhaps we have social media and progressive television to thank for that, in part. But no matter where their inclusive attitudes come from, it's truly amazing.
The view that support should be paramount is a refreshing take that we haven't seen quite so fiercely. As the mom of a 12-year-old, I see that same fearless support being offered by my own kid. Not only does my daughter have tons of friends who identify as queer, nonbinary, or trans, she and her friends are all about pride and take every opportunity to celebrate all things LGBTQIA+.
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As a mom, I've even absorbed some lessons about how to be a better ally myself.
Here's what my daughter's supportive attitude has taught me.
1. Try Your Absolute Best Not to Misgender People
As progressive as I think I am, my daughter has sometimes expressed frustration with me for assuming her friends' genders. At first, I was like, "OK, calm down, hunny. It's not that big of a deal if, in private, I misgender someone." But as someone who has a lot of friends in the LGBTQIA+ community, she corrected me. Her view is that learning people's gender identity is deeply important. If you don't know, ask for someone's preferred pronouns, she says, but don't assume. And she's not wrong. I mean, I don't want someone referring to me as a man, because I am a woman. Same goes for everyone who doesn't want to be misgendered.
2. Show Off Your Support
My daughter's entire bedroom is covered in pride flags. No joke. She isn't just supportive quietly. She believes in being loud and bold about the fact that she's an ally. While she hasn't pushed me toward showing off my own support, it's a lesson I've learned by observation alone, and it's absolutely a good one.
3. Attend Pride Events
This goes hand-in-hand with No. 2, but support is better when it's visible. That could mean throwing a rainbow or trans flag up on flag pole, or wearing a pride bracelet, but it could also mean showing up at events. The bigger the crowd, the more the support is felt by the community, after all. Plus, when at events, you can also throw some dollars at the cause to put your money where your mouth is.
Don't worry about finding out about each and every pride event. If you have a youth living in your home, they already have the schedule.
4. Learn the Terminology!!!
It's 2022, and most people understand what it means to be gay. But there are a lot of new(er) terms that so many people haven't become fully comfortable using correctly. My daughter has literally schooled me on terms I was unsure about, and I'm grateful for that, but many of us need to put in some effort in order to get it right.
Some people don't identify with any specific gender, which means they are nonbinary. Some people's gender identity, or their internal sense of who they are, does not match the sex they were assigned at birth, which means they are trans.
In order to really support the entire LGBTQIA+ community, it's important to learn all the terminology.
5. Be a Role Model
You can totally be a person who doesn't practice hate speech but still be a person who tolerates it. If there's anything to learn from teens and tweens these days, believe me, it's how to be more outspoken. That's especially true when it comes to showing support for the LGBTQIA+ community.
If you hear something that isn't right, say something. Because if kids can do it, so can you.
6. Celebrate Pride Month
There are so many things we can learn from today's youth about how to be a better LGBTQIA+ ally. Luckily, it's the perfect time of year to kick your efforts up. June is Pride Month, so get educated, get loud, and most of all, listen to the kids. They know what's up.
