Sometimes, when we get used to the same kind of treatment and behavior over time — even when it’s not done toward us but to someone else in our lives — it can start to feel normal or just routine. The thing that we might need to consider is that taking a step back and gaining a little perspective and having some empathy may help us to see things in a new light.
In the Reddit AITA forum, a 32-year-old widow and mother of two explains that her husband recently died and left his nearly million-dollar estate in her name.
When her husband was a teenager, he had a daughter with his girlfriend at the time, but he didn’t provide any parental care or sustain any type of consistent relationship with her. The original poster’s dilemma is whether or not she should share her money with her stepdaughter now that her husband has died.
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A young mother of two recently became a widow after her husband died. She inherited his substantial estate.
The OP explained to the people or Reddit that she has two young children, a 6-year-old daughter and a 3-year-old son, she shared with her husband who recently died. When her husband died, she was left close to $1 million. That sounds as though it could set things up for her and her family in a fairly comfortable manner, right?
She explained the back story of her stepdaughter. He “broke up with his girlfriend once he found out she was pregnant” and he told her that he “wasn’t ready to be a father,” she explained. It sounds like it was solely up to his daughter’s mother to provide care because as the OP also revealed, “he visited her maybe once every few years when he was alive.” That does not sound like a close father-daughter relationship.
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The OP explained that her stepdaughter’s financial situation is not great, and that she and her mother have been really struggling since her husband’s death.
The OP noted that her 16-year-old stepdaughter and her mother are “very poor,” especially now that her husband has died and “they no longer receive child support.” She explained that they have been “struggling to pay rent and risk getting evicted.” This all sounds like a serious situation.
The OP explained that her stepdaughter “reached out to [her] begging for her share of the inheritance.” She explains that she feels “bad for her,” but her husband “clearly stated in his will that he wanted to leave his estate” to her and her two children only. The OP explained that she “barely even [knows]” her stepdaughter and she feels like it’s not her “responsibility to take care of her.” Yikes.
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The OP’s stepdaughter had some choice words for her stepmom, and the majority of Redditors sided with the daughter, whom it appears has been neglected by her father her whole life.
The OP explains that her stepdaughter is “furious” with her and called her a “heartless gold digger.” She told her estranged stepmom that “giving her money was the least [she] could do to make up for years of neglect.”
That seems like a completely reasonable and fair point of view, especially coming from a grieving teen who barely got a chance to know her father.
An overwhelming number of Redditors have told the OP that she is in the wrong and should be giving her stepdaughter some money or at least providing her husband’s share of child support until she turns 18. One Redditor shared, “It says a lot about your character that you went along with a neglectful deadbeat and still carry that torch of negligence even after his death.” That is harsh but also fair considering the dire situation.
Commenters on this post are also holding the dead husband responsible because he “had a child and basically acted like she did not exist,” so it makes sense that he “would not put her in his will.”
Considering the OP has two children of her own and should realize how expensive life can be when you’re the sole parent, you would think that perhaps the OP would show some empathy and compassion for a fellow single mom. But maybe that’s just expecting too much from this person.
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