It can sometimes be difficult to see the other person’s side of things, especially in a heated argument or disagreement. When it comes to custody issues, especially concerning financial matters regarding a child’s well-being and making sure they have everything they need, things can often get a bit tense between former couples.
In a Reddit AITA forum post, a frustrated mother of a 5-year-old is asking for some guidance after her son’s stepmom began asking her for $200 every time her son spent two nights with them, to cover the cost of food, activities, clothing, and more. Is this taking things way too far, especially considering he’s with his father, who has never paid child support of any kind?
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This mom explains that it’s only been fairly recently that her ex has even been consistently in her son’s life.
The original poster explains that it is just within the past three to six months that her child’s father and his partner have been “consistent” in her son’s life. The former couple have shared custody, but that has only consisted of her son seeing him for two nights every two weeks.
OP explains that when her child’s father began being consistent, she routinely offered him money “to make sure [her] son was fed and safe.” In years past, the mom would often get excuses from her ex about not being able to spend time with their son due to lack of funds, so she routinely offered cash to him for the sake of her son.
An alarming text message came in from her son’s stepmom and totally changed the dynamic.
OP divulges that she has never asked for child support, but she recently received a text message from her son’s stepmother asking for $100 for each night — which works out to $200 every time her son goes to stay with his father — “to help pay for things [her] son wants when [he’s] with them.”
She also shares that she was told things weren’t “financially fair” and it was “irresponsible parenting” for the OP to not want her son to have “nice clothes and toys when at his dad’s house.” OP explains that she told her child’s stepmom that she would gladly transfer her money in those types of situations as long as the toy or item of clothing came home with her son.
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The OP now wonders if she should try to make changes to the custody agreement.
It’s described that after this text exchange, the stepmom went on social media and shared her thoughts and called the OP a “bad mother.” After a message was sent to her ex directly, the OP was accused of being a “jealous ex” who was just looking for free babysitting and to break them up. After that interaction, the OP threatened that if she felt like her son was “just a child being babysat” instead of his father’s son, the custody agreement should possibly be revised.
There are several comments in support of the OP and the situation she’s in with her child’s father. One commenter notes, “Go for child support. You’re letting down your son by not holding his father to account for part of his upbringing.”
Another commenter remarks that “it’s time for a custody agreement and child support” from the child’s father in order to permanently rectify this situation.
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