I can’t pretend to understand the devastation of losing a spouse, but I can imagine it. My husband is truly my other half; whatever I lack, he picks up and vice versa. He’s a partner in every sense of the word, and even the thought of losing him fills me with a sense of helplessness. Even if I don’t condone it, I can understand the desperate actions some grieving widows take, especially those with young kids now having to face a life without their other half. I think this is especially true when a person loses a spouse to suicide. In fact, data backs that up.
“The risk of completed suicide was three times higher in suicide survivors than in bereaved families with non-suicide deaths, and it was highest in wives of suicide decedents,” a nationwide population-based cohort study in South Korea revealed.
What’s even worse is sometimes, bereaved widows harm their children in the wake of their families’ tragic losses. In 2018, a wife with the surname of Dai believed her husband, identified by his surname He, killed himself by driving his car into a body of water. Though his body was never found, authorities used the submerged vehicle and the lack of evidence of foul play to rule his death a suicide. He and Dai were facing medical debt of over $14,000 due to their daughter’s chronic illness, according to Time.
He believed the only way out was to “commit suicide” after taking out an insurance plan worth one million Chinese yuan (about $145,000) without his wife’s knowledge, police said, per the BBC.
Three weeks after his death, Dai did the unthinkable: She drowned herself and her two young children. According to The Mirror US, Dai used the Chinese social media platform WeChat to leave her own suicide note detailing why she chose this path.
“I wanted to leave alone, but without their parents, my son and daughter will be in pain and will be bullied like me,” she reportedly wrote, also stating she wanted to reunite her family in the afterlife.
Shockingly, her husband turned himself in to police roughly 24 hours later, admitting to a fraud plot. Just before he did so, He uploaded a video on social media, which garnered over 29 million views, to tearfully explain himself, The Mirror US reported.
“My daughter, who is ill, has to get medical checks every month. I have to pay off car loans, and our family expenses. I’m also sick,” he reportedly wrote. “I did this to avoid debts. I never thought my wife would be so infatuated with me.”
He also reportedly planned to reveal his plot to his wife and reunite them sometime after the money came in. He was charged by authorities with insurance fraud and intentional property damage.
Note: If you or any of your loved ones are struggling with suicidal thoughts, you can always reach out to the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling 988. They are available 24/7 by phone or online chat.
