Writing can be extremely healing and cathartic. It forces one to confront situations one might have been avoiding. This appears to be the case for John Stamos. In his new memoir If You Would Have Told Me, which comes out on October 24, 2023, the actor reveals he was sexually abused by a babysitter when he was around 10 years old.
John explained that he does not want his abuse to be the focus of his memoir. He added it because he wanted to be completely honest about who he is. He hopes others can learn from his life and he works hard to advocate for other victims and survivors.
John had not fully processed his situation until he started writing. "It took me writing a book" to fully comprehend what his babysitter did was wrong. "I mean, I knew, it was always in the back, and I do so much advocacy for the [survivors]," he explained. "I felt like, I remembered it slightly. It has always been there, but I packed it away as people do, right?"
John did not tell anyone at the time of the abuse. He claims he did not know what the babysitter did was wrong. "I think I told myself, like, 'Ah, it's girls, man,'" he explained.
More from LittleThings: John Stamos Almost Left 'Full House' Because He Was Jealous Of One Of His Child Costars
John tried to stop the abuse on his own. "It was like you're playing dead so they'll stop. But it wasn't totally aggressive," he explained. "I don't know, it was not good."
The abuse first came up again in his adult life when he was writing an acceptance speech for an award he received because of his advocacy for abused children. "I started to write it, and that's when it really came out," he recalled.
"And then I thought, 'No, tonight is not about me. It's about the kids. I'm going to pack it away again until the right moment.' Otherwise, I'm a phony [expletive]. It's like, 'Come on.'"
John stressed that he does not want his abuse to be the main take away from his memoir. "I didn't want the headlines to be that, and I didn't want the book to be over that," he stated. "It was a page or something, but I felt I had to talk about it. It was weird. It was something that, I think, I was probably like 10 or 11 [when it happened]. I shouldn't have had to deal with those feelings."
John shares a 5-year-old son named Billy with wife Caitlin McHugh Stamos. He is extremely protective of him. "But I'll tell you, if I found out someone was doing that to my son, that's a totally different story,” he shared.
It was important for John to be transparent in his memoir about his life. This includes the good and the bad times. "I did set out to write a hero story, but then as I was doing it I was like, 'No, I'm going to tell a human story,'" he explained.
It all came down to honesty for John. "Because with the hero story, that's [expletive]. And unless I was a hundred percent forthcoming, what am I doing this for, right? But it was hard."
If you or someone you know has been a victim of sexual assault, the National Sexual Assault Hotline provides confidential 24/7 support. Call 800-656-HOPE (4673) or chat online at RAINN.
