Every parent has to learn how to have healthy boundaries with their kids' grandparents at one point or another. For one expecting mom, this lesson is coming quicker than she expected. She took to Reddit’s popular AITA forum to see if she was wrong for wanting her in-laws to either shorten their visit or stay at a hotel after she gives birth.
This mom is thankful her in-laws want to come. She just worries she will want some space and immediate family bonding time after the birth. She doesn’t know how she will feel with all the hormones going through her body.
Here's the backstory.
This mom is already anxious for a couple of reasons. “Ok so my husband and will be expecting our first baby in a week via c-section due to baby being breech,” she began. “I just found out that our in laws will be staying in our 1,400 sq foot 1 floor home for 11 days…. (Flying in from the east coast to Texas) They won’t get here until the baby is 6 weeks old, but I’m honestly so stressed out already thinking about them living with us in our small house 24/7.”
There are so many factors to consider.
Unfortunately, at this time her in-laws expect to stay with the new family of three and won’t even have a car. This leaves mom with a ton of questions. “What bothers me is that I have no idea how I will be feeling 6 weeks postpartum,” she explained. “How will my hormones be? Will have PPD? How will breastfeeding be for me? Will I still be recovering post c-section?”
More from LittleThings: Father Debates Banning His In-Laws From His House For The Way They Treat His Wife And Baby
It might not be a good situation for anybody.
The expecting mom is trying to be proactive and not put herself in a position where she feels uncomfortable. “I feel like I’ll want to be establishing a groove with my baby by this point but having them in our small house with no privacy for that long gives me so much anxiety,” she explained. “Like I can just live my life comfortably because we will be on top of each other in our small house. Plus my husband will be back at work so I’ll be trapped in my own home with his parents all day and all night… without a break. I really like my in laws but they can both be a lot in their own ways. I just don’t see this going well for me mentally or emotionally…”
Here are some alternative options.
Thankfully, this smart mama bear has some options she thinks might be a better solution for everyone. She suggested her in-laws could change their flights and only stay with them for five days, stay the whole time at a hotel, or stay with them five days and get a hotel for five days. This seems reasonable and her husband is fully supportive.
The mom is second-guessing herself.
The mom wants to make sure she is not being unreasonable. This is why she is asking for Reddit’s help. Is this the wrong move to make? She wants to set healthy boundaries but also doesn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. She "just can't do 11 days" of them staying at her house.
Reassurance is nice.
The users on Reddit have this mom’s back. She gets to choose when and how long she has visitors. Having a baby via c-section is no joke.
“You don't need stress,” one user stated. “People visiting you at this time should be here to support you, not make things tense.”
The mom needs to take care of herself and the baby.
“I feel like all the suggestions you've made are reasonable,” another user chimed in. “Your in-laws feelings are their own. It's hard to do but try not to take responsibility for them. You need to do what's best for you and the babe at this time.”
She's already a great mom.
This mom got the support she needed from the internet. It is so nice when the web can be used for good. She can work through this situation with her in-laws knowing that complete strangers have her back. She is already killing the whole mom thing.
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