A hard truth about parenthood is at some point, everyone’s mom or dad emotionally injuries their child. People, even parents, aren’t perfect. Most don’t inflict scars intentionally. Actor Oliver Hudson appears to understand this about his mom, Goldie Hawn. He recently took a course at the Hoffman Institute to unpack some of his baggage from his childhood. He was surprised to learn how much Goldie’s mothering impacted him.
Oliver is the son of actress Goldie Hawn and musician Bill Hudson. Goldie and Bill divorced and he wasn’t around much for his two kids. Oliver and Kate Hudson spoke about this on the March 18, 2024 episode of their podcast Sibling Revelry.
"I did this course called the Hoffman Institute — which was this really powerful thing for me — where you're unpacking the patterns that were put upon you from your parents and stepparents," Oliver explained. "This idea that we have negative love in our lives and in order to survive, we need love of some kind and sometimes it's not healthy love but we attach ourselves to those things. This course was all about understanding what those patterns were and kind of learning how to break through them and building your toolbox."
Oliver is thankful he took the course. It was insightful to learn about himself. "My mother was the one that I had almost the most trauma about interestingly enough because she was my primary caregiver and I was with her all of the time," he continued.
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Oliver is close with Goldie and doesn’t blame her but was surprised to learn there was hurt hidden deep. "I felt unprotected at times. She would be working. She had new boyfriends that I didn’t really like,” he explained.
“She would be living her life and she was an amazing mother,” he went on to say. “This is my own perception as a child who didn’t have a dad and needed her to be there and she just wasn’t sometimes and she came out far more than even my dad who wasn’t there.” Oliver was trying to fill the void his father left.
Oliver has long forgiven his father for leaving. He is even able to share happy memories of spending time with him. "When I was with him, it was incredible," Oliver reminisced. "He paid attention to me. We played football. We played basketball. We were on the beach. He taught me how to fish. He was so present, but he just was never there. It was a perspective shifter for me for sure."
Oliver is making sure to do the work so he can minimize the negative impact he has on his three kids. He shares Wilder, Bodhi, and Rio with wife Erinn Bartlett. He got so much out of his time at the Hoffman Institute.
"It’s an incredible week of enlightenment on who your parents were and are," he gushed. "The forgiveness and compassion you have for them [his parents] at the end of this process is unbelievable. Then you realize they’re only repeating the [expletive] they went through with their parents."
"The forgiveness of my father was huge because his dad left him when he was 5 years old," Oliver mused. "My dad didn't do that exactly, but he bailed. You know, so I can’t always help but think when we’re parenting, like what am I imprinting upon [my kids]."
Both Kate and Oliver are incredibly thankful for stepfather Kurt Russell, who stepped in when their dad left. He helped Goldie raise them like they were his own children. "I have a stepfather who stepped in and played a huge, huge part in sharing what it is to have a dependable father figure in our life,” Kate gushed in 2021.
