Finding reliable child care is a challenge. Some people are lucky enough to be able to rely on family. This was the case for one single mom who works as a nurse. Her college student niece moved into her guest room and got paid to work as her nanny. It was a win-win.
Things changed when her niece had to do an internship during her junior year. She was no longer available to nanny. The aunt now needs her niece to move out because she only has one guest room and the new nanny will need to use it. She took to Reddit to see if she was wrong for asking her niece to leave.
Nurses work 12-hour shifts.
The aunt found herself needing live-in child care because of her 12-hour shifts. “I’m a single mom to 2 kids (8 & 6),” she explained. “I work as a nurse. 3 days a week, I work 12 hour shifts (12 pm-12 am). After my husband passed, I needed a nanny to tend to my kids from the time they got off school (3 pm) onwards. I decided a live-in was the best choice. I have one guest bedroom.”
Fate steps in.
It seemed to be kismet when her niece enrolled at a nearby university. “I live right near a university,” the aunt went on to say. “Around this time, my niece had just gotten accepted. She wanted to save cost on dorms and offered to watch my kids those 3 days, if she could live there rent free. I agreed, and said I’d also pay her $22/hr (a competitive rate for our area). She’s done with her classes by 1, so it works out. She fixes them dinner and puts them to bed. Then she’s free to do whatever. But of course I pay her from 3 pm-12:30 am. It worked for 2 years. My niece never had any complaints.”
More from LittleThings: Mom Of 4 Is Hiring A Nanny, But People Are In Disbelief When They See Extreme Requirements
Things changed.
Her niece’s schedule changed and she is no longer able to work as her aunt’s nanny. “Now, however, my niece is getting an (paid) internship related to her major that starts in January,” the aunt explained. “She wouldn’t be available to watch my kids. I congratulated her and said I could help her look into student housing or an apartment. We’d have 3 months to do this. She was confused. I said since I would need a live in and only have one guest room, she would have to move out. My niece got upset and said this isn’t fair, she won’t be able to save any money if she gets a dorm or an apartment (she could afford to live on her own, but wouldn’t have much savings). I pointed out that this would work best for me as I had to put my kids in aftercare the other 2 days I work (I get off around 5) and the nanny could just pick them up from school vs them having to stay there so long.”
The niece pleads her case.
Her niece tried to argue her case but the aunt was not having it. “My niece argued that the nanny could leave at the end of her shift but after speaking to some nannies, they understandably don’t want to drive home so late,” she continued. “Plus, I’m fine with the nanny (and my niece) sleeping after the kids do. So, there’s no sense in them sleeping then waking up and driving so drowsy. Even I feel nervous driving home so late, especially after my long shift.”
The family is upset.
The rest of the family has made their opinions known. “My SIL (her mom) feels this is unfair to my niece but she moved in under the condition that she’d work as a nanny,” the aunt stated. “My SIL and brother live 3 hours away, so niece couldn’t commute if she moved back in with them. They feel I should try to find a nanny who’d be willing to drive home at 12:30 AM (it’d take me a half hour minimum to get home), but all nannies I’ve spoken to have said no or expressed concern about their safety driving so late.” This aunt wants to know if she is in the wrong.
More information please.
Many on the site wanted some more information. They wondered if she and her niece could work something out but that does not seem to be the case. “My niece isn’t interested in nannying at all going forward and will instead be pursuing internships,” she updated her post. “She has no desire to work after her internship is over for the day. She knew from the jump that I was only looking for a live in specifically for childcare.”
In that case...
In light of the updates, the forum does not think this aunt is in the wrong.
“You’re doing what’s best for you and your kids,” wrote one user. "Don’t allow anyone to gaslight you."
The users on the site think the niece is crazy for giving up this great living situation.
“This is a sweetheart of a deal and OP is under no obligation (even out of kindness) to have to continue giving out rent free space which she needs for her own use just to keep spoiled niece happy,” wrote one user.
The aunt needs to look out for herself legally as well.
One Reddit user also advised the aunt to protect herself legally: “You need to get a lawyer to draft an official move out document with a 30 day date. Her parents are going to tell her to just stay and call your bluff because 'FaMilY'. Don't let her screw you and your kids over.”
The aunt stated she had a six-month lease with her niece but still gave her 30 days notice to protect herself. Hopefully armed with the confidence of knowing Reddit users believe she is not in the wrong, she can soldier on despite whatever backlash she receives from her extended family.
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