Halloween is one of the absolute best days of the entire year to be a kid. It's basically kid heaven! Not only do little ones get to dress up as something scary, strange, or silly, they also get candy for simply strutting around the neighborhood doing nothing other than looking adorable and/or fierce. It's a simple joy that children remember forever.
However, an unfortunate thing that kids often remember forever is the adults who suck the joy straight out of their Halloween fun. You know the ones I'm talking about — the adults who think it's their job to play the manners police on what's supposed to be a fun, silly kind of candy-induced mania.
No matter what, every year, there are always a few adults who have the Halloween grumps. They pick on kids for various things. They insert themselves and their opinions where they don't belong. Basically, they just act like oversized jerks when the only thing anyone wants on Halloween is an oversized candy bar.
Here's how not to be a Halloween jerk.
1. Don't Make Kids Perform for You
Here's a super-important piece of advice for Halloween, but really anytime! Don't make kids perform for you. Don't tell them to say their pleases and thank-yous, or even their treat-or-treats. Not all kids are comfortable talking to strangers, even on Halloween. Some are shy, nervous, and just trying to hold it together.
More importantly, many kids have learning differences or disabilities. So before you snap at a kid for forgetting to say "thank you," remember your own manners. Some kids are nonverbal, autistic, or coping with emotional challenges.
No matter what, it's not your job to make kids act any certain way. So drop the candy in the bucket, smile, and avoid the critiques.
2. Make Sure You Have Different Candy Choices
Listen up. Some people of the world enjoy Smarties. However, most people do not. There are way better candies out there than Smarties, so maybe think about giving kids some options. But more importantly than just not wanting to be the house with the very worst candy, remember that kids not only have different tastes but have allergies and food restrictions, as well! I'm not saying you have to offer raw veggies or anything, but making sure you have a couple of options (and especially nut-free options) in your candy bowl is a good and respectful idea.
3. If You Don't Like a Costume, MYOB
Listen. Kids these days are a fierce bunch. They know what they're into when it comes to style, and they tend to be pretty unapologetic about it. Truthfully, it very much seems like we're raising a generation of ultra-confident kids, and that's an amazing thing. So don't be the person to comment or tug at someone's confidence. If you think someone's skirt is too short, or their heels are too high, or their costume is too scary … just leave it alone. You aren't the Halloween fashion police, and you aren't the parent of every neighborhood child, either.
Let the kids dress how they want, because this is freaking Halloween, not church camp.
4. Chill Out If a Kid Takes More Than One Snickers
Candy is delectable. Especially Snickers. Depending on how many kids frequent your home, you might have a "take one" rule. It makes sense! You don't want to run out of candy before the treat-or-treaters are done doin' their thing. But you also don't want to be the jerk who is screaming at the toddler who grabs a handful, either. Chill out. Their hand is not that big in the first place. And maybe have a backup bag of candy lying around.
5. Let Kids of All Ages Enjoy the Fun
Kids develop in different ways at different times. That means some kids might be totally over trick-or-treating by the time they are 13 or 14, while others want to get in on the fun until the end of high school. As an adult, you should simply allow that. Don't tell a kid they are too old to be trick-or-treating. Don't scold them for wanting candy and some innocent fun. Would you rather them be partying and puking in an alley? Probably not.
Let kids of all ages trick-or-treat, because really, what difference does it make to you anyway?
6. Don't Give Critiques Based on Gender
As more and more people begin understanding the complexities of gender and gender identity, it should go without saying that we shouldn't critique anyone's costume based on gender. Like, if someone you perceive to be male comes to your porch dressed as a ballerina, ask them what their favorite ballet is. Don't tell them boys shouldn't wear tights. Ya dig? Batman and Robin wear tights, and nobody hates on them.
Let kids dress as whatever they want regardless of gender or perceived gender. You don't have to "get it" to be a good human.
7. Just Practice Basic Kindness and Compassion
Listen. It shouldn't be that hard to not be a jerk on Halloween. Just try to remember that this holiday is supposed to be about fun. If a kid forgets their manners, if they grab too much candy, or if they have a meltdown on your front porch, it will all be OK. They're not your kids, and you only have to deal with them for about 15 seconds per child! Just be kind, hand out the candy, and call it a night.
Will there be sassy, rude kids? Probably! They're all hopped up on candy and running amuck. What do you expect!? But instead of trying to set everyone straight this year, try modeling some good behavior instead.
