Alanis Morissette is opening up about her latest battle against postpartum depression in a stream-of-consciousness blog post. The 45-year-old singer welcomed Winter Mercy Morissette-Treadway on August 8 in a home birth with husband Mario "Souleye" Treadway by her side. While Alanis has felt beyond blessed to have the three children she always dreamed of, she has also been candid about discussing the bumps along the way — and not just during her pregnancy.
Alanis has been open in her discussion of postpartum depression in the past, too. She sat down with Self during her last pregnancy to discuss her previous two battles with postpartum depression and her hopes to try and keep things from getting so rough the next time around. She explained the conversations she's had with friends and families and acknowledged what she now recognizes as "warning signs."
It's been about two months since Alanis gave birth to Winter, which is when many new moms begin to notice symptoms of postpartum mood disorders. She recently penned a blog on her site discussing her experience this time. It seems as though she's struggling again, but has the clarity to understand that "this too shall pass."
Alanis Morissette is opening up about what her life looks like since giving birth to her third child. Alanis and husband Mario "Souleye" Treadway welcomed son Winter Mercy Morissette-Treadway on August 8.
Winter Mercy joins 8-year-old big brother Ever Imre and 3-year-old big sister Onyx Solace. In an interview with Self during her pregnancy, Alanis mentioned how she'd always dreamed of having three kids. “I always wanted to have three kids, and then I’ve had some challenges and some miscarriages so I just didn’t think it was possible," she explained.
During the very candid interview, Alanis also discussed her experiences with postpartum depression. "Not singularly relying on myself to diagnose myself is key," she recalled. "Because the first time around I waited."
"For me I would just wake up and feel like I was covered in tar and it wasn't the first time I'd experienced depression so I just thought 'Oh, well, this feels familiar, I'm depressed, I think,'" she explained.
Her second bout of postpartum depression snuck up on her a bit, although she did get help sooner. "Four months. I know!" she said of how long it took.
"And now this time I'm going to wait four minutes. I have said to my friends, 'I want you to not necessarily go by the words I'm saying' and as best as I can, I'll try to be honest, but I can't personally rely on the degree of honesty if I reference the last two experiences."
It's been two months since Alanis welcomed Winter. She took to her own blog to share her experience with postpartum this time around. She began:
“ahhh. i wasn’t sure if i would have post partum depression/anxiety this time around. or, as i like to call it: post partum activity. or, also: post partum tar-drenched trenches.”
She continued:
“i will break them down in time, i have answers and protocols and solutions and RX’s to be sure. i’ll share more specifics once i have my wits back about me. hormonal. sleep deprivation. fogginess. physical pain. isolation. anxiety. cortisol. recovery from childbirth (as beautiful and intense as mine was at home, dream birth.), integrating new angel baby with older angel babies. marriage. all kinds of PTSD triggers. overstimulation.”
She continued the stream-of-consciousness:
“this body. attempting to crawl back to some semi-recognizable configuration.some around my relationship with needing. reaching out. seeing how great i am at setting boundaries in some areas, but how blind-spot-ty i have been with them in others.”
She acknowledged:
“yes, the addictions. in my case…work addiction—over-giving. over-serving. over-do-ing. over-over-ing. all lovely qualities without the ‘over’. at worst: beautiful human qualities that are on 11 in a way that the body ultimately can’t sustain. the #invisibleload with today’s normalized cluttered lifestyle taking on epic proportions.”
Despite all of that, she recognizes her own strength and ability to move forward:
“all this said: i have been here before.i know there is another side. and the other side is greater than my PPD-riddled-temporarily-adjusted-brain could have ever imagined: as a mom. as an artist. as a wife. as a friend. as a collaborator. as a leader. as a boss. as an activist.”
“i saw how things got richer after i came through it the last two times. i have my eye on that prize again…even as i drag my ass through the molasses. there is so much more support this time.”
She also pointed out what she did to try to prepare:
“i knew better so i set it up to win as much as i could beforehand. support. food. friends. sun. bio-identical hormones and SSRI’s at the ready. some parts of the care-prep has been a godsend, and well-planned. but for all of this preparation—PPD is still a sneaky monkey with a machete—working its way through my psyche and body and days and thoughts and bloodwork levels.”
Alanis wrote about all of the things she loves about her life and doesn't want to miss before turning to the cultural attitude around pregnant women and new mothers:
“this culture is not set up to honor women properly after birth. i see it changing, which is so heartening…but the general way is bereft of the honoring and tenderness and attunement and village-ness that post partum deeply warrants. the new mom, the new parent(s) is creating the foundation for the circumventing of so much of the pain and divisiveness that we see in the world. preventatively. we are on the ground floor of creating secure attachment. from which ALL other contributions to the world of relationships, service, politics, authentic self-expression, “success” and LOVE are borne.”
Alanis is doing a great service to other women with her frank discussion of her postpartum experience. Normalizing the conversation around PPD is a big step in making women comfortable with coming forward and getting help.
