Amanda Kloots has gone through more than most people could imagine. Not only was she widowed with a baby, but she lost her husband in an incredibly painful way.
Amanda shared the highs and lows of Nick Cordero's months-long battle against COVID-19 with the world. She showed incredible strength and grace, even in the hardest moments of her life. She's been so public with her story in the hope of helping others, and it's been truly inspiring.
Recently, Amanda talked about what it's like dating again on The Talk. She explained how it's her first time really dating, because she met both of her previous husbands through work. Amanda didn't expect backlash for the admission, but she handled it as incredibly as anything that's come before that.
Amanda Kloots has been open about her entire journey. She shared what it was like to be the mom of a baby under 1 and the wife of a man battling COVID-19. She shared her heartache as husband Nick Cordero's condition declined and even after his death. Now Amanda's sharing what it's like to be a 39-year-old widow and mom to 2-year-old son Elvis.
On an episode of The Talk, Amanda discussed with her cohosts what it's like starting to date again.
"Both of my husbands, I met doing Broadway shows. We became friends first, then we got married. Obviously with Nick, we had a child," she explained.
"I've never actually had to date," she continued.
"I just started dating again and it is so crazy to be dating for the first time at 39 years old. And it's quite terrifying and really out of your element, and it's just hard. It is hard."
"It's all wonderful. It's wonderful people I'm meeting, and it's been a great process so far," Amanda continued.
"But I'll just say it's very hard without getting into too many details."
It's been one year since Nick's death. His awful battle with COVID-19 saw him placed on a ventilator and having his leg amputated. He was only 41 years old when he died.
Amanda is dedicated to keeping Nick's memory alive. She's told his story and does everything she can to include him in son Elvis' life. Earlier this month, she reflected on the first anniversary of Nick's death.
"Today hurts, there is no other way around it. One year ago you left us and became our angel in heaven. You were surrounded by so much love and Led Zeppelin playing on Spotify-no doubt that was your doing, not mine," Amanda wrote.
"What happened was unthinkable, losing you was my biggest fear. I used to tell you all the time, 'Don't you dare go anywhere. If I lost you, I don't know what I'd do,'" she continued.
"There hasn't been a day this year where you weren't missed, thought about and talked about. Thank you for being our guardian angel, for sending me signs, for being my DJ in heaven. I know you're just 2" away. We only had a few short years together but they were filled with so much love, laughter, adventure, dreams, change and growth. It was my 'Nick era' and I'll have it forever."
After her on-air conversation about dating, Amanda posted to social media about an unrelated subject. It was there that people criticized her for getting back into the dating world one year after losing her husband.
"Dating already wow that was fast," one commenter wrote.
Amanda addressed that specific comment in a post on her Instagram story. "How dare you judge anyone especially someone going through this process?" she leveled.
"I will address this soon guys I promise. There's too much to say and too much that widows deal with to not talk about it. Until then I will call out anyone who is rude enough to comment like this."
It's not the first time Amanda has spoken about the public's need to police her mourning process.
"Being a woman, people expect you to wear black every day for a year and cry and mourn that person," she told The Daily Beast in a discussion of her book, Live Your Life: My Story of Loving and Losing Nick Cordero.
"You don't have to wear black and stay at home to mourn," Amanda continued.
"Trust me, I mourn every single day. I've cried almost every single day. I hate to say it, but I do think that there is a stereotype of a woman that you can't smile two weeks after your husband passed. God forbid you're working out or trying to maintain your business."
"It's interesting because I think for a man it's more like, 'Wow, look at him. He's so strong. He's still working every day providing for his family.' But if it's a woman, it is a little bit looked at differently," Amanda noted.
"The reality of grief is that I can go play a tennis lesson and be so happy that I'm outside, moving and challenging myself, and doing something new. Then I get in the car and have a breakdown. That's the true reality of grief. You can't tell anybody what to do. That's just something that you have to walk through every day and find the strength to get through every single day."
