I waited a long time until finding a reliable babysitter — I believe it was close to 15 months. This happened for two reasons. One, we were in the midst of a move during my daughter's first year. I wasn't ready to bond and find trust in someone just to have to say goodbye. Two, it was just hard for me to let go. Surely, many moms feel the same way — but they get over it well before 15 months. When we were finally ready to find a babysitter, I did some research as to what babysitter costs are these days.
How much do you pay your babysitter? Granted, I was looking for someone who'd be over for just a few hours at a time. All I wanted was dinner with my husband on occasion. When we found a good candidate, I actually thought she was lowballing herself a little — something that I do all the time. I bumped her rate up to $15 per hour, and things have been great ever since.
That said, $15 an hour is on the cheap side when it comes to certain areas of the United States. UrbanSitter just released its ninth annual child care study, and it includes information on the going rates. If you have multiples, beware — a night away will likely end up costing you a fortune.
UrbanSitter surveyed 25,000 families in 25 US cities. On average, the hourly rate to babysit one child is $17.73 per hour. If you have more than one, the average rate is $20.30. That means if you have two kids and want to go out for dinner and a movie, you're looking at a little over $80 — not including the cost of the meal and tickets.
The findings are pretty huge. Especially since UrbanSitter has been keeping tabs on going rates for years. Between 2012 and 2020, the rate has skyrocketed 39%. While it's a good thing for babysitters (and in knowing that great child care is truly priceless), that's a large jump in a relatively short time.
The most expensive city is said to be San Francisco. Today Parents chatted with Caitlin Dwyer, a mother of two who happens to live there. "It can go up to $30 for two kids," she revealed. "It's unfortunate, but it's also the city we live in and the harsh reality that that's what you have to pay."
"It's your children, you can't really put a price on good childcare," she continued. "I do prefer to pay a little bit less hourly but I do think that you want your children to be in good hands." That said, the high price might cause some adults to forego on nights out.
And while that's a financially sound choice, it can be bad for parents' health if it continuously happens. "Parents are the generals of their household," writes the Washington Post. "How do you, in particular those who stay at home with children, feel day after day, hour after hour, with no real break in sight? Is your coffee hot and clothing dry? Probably not."
"Taking a break from family can cause guilt and anxiety in mothers and fathers alike," the article continues. "But a few hours away can re-energize you so you can get back to playing with Legos, making dinner and taking care of everyone else." That means that you might need to budget for a babysitter when planning your monthly expenses.
Some parents are also lucky enough to live close to family. And if family members are willing and able to help, that can always save some money in terms of babysitting. Back in 2015, the New York Times wrote that the average American lived only around 18 miles away from their parents.
In 2016, 34.4% of adults ages 18 to 34 were still living with at least one parent. Many of those choices were purely financial. But certain situations — like finding better work opportunities — may call for a big move that doesn't include mom and dad.
Robert A. Pollak, an economist at the Olin Business School at Washington University in St. Louis, spoke to the New York Times about how distances — and situations regarding wealth — can affect new families. He believes that low-income families are more likely to rely on relatives for child care, so they make a point to try and stay close.
"It speaks to a class divide in the population," he says, "Particularly as you go further down the socioeconomic scale, people are living pretty close to their parents, and this means they’re able to provide help." That makes you wonder if a couple who wants to have a kid might purposefully move closer to relatives, even if they're in a city that isn't necessarily part of an economic boom.
While it's good for new parents to know what a good starting rate is when looking for a sitter, that doesn't mean that they can't be open to negotiations. While you should never purposefully underpay someone for their services (especially if your child is on the difficult side), it's possible that your babysitter would be fine with a gig that's a dollar or two less than their other jobs.
You can also look for some extra support from local moms in the area. Perhaps you can make a connection and trade off babysitting. Once per month, you watch their kids for free, while they do the same for you. So yes — there are still plenty of options to get out of the house even with a very strict budget in place.
Curious about what your money should get you? While you interview potential babysitters, it's great if they have a background check available. Knowing CPR is also a great skill for a babysitter to have, especially with young infants. For babysitters who charge a lot per hour, these two requests are very common.
Just remember not to let babysitting costs stop you from getting out of the house every once in a while. There are a lot of moms and dads out there in the same position, so if we all made a point to connect and help each other, solutions are always possible. Just make sure not to stiff your babysitter, because when you find a good one, all of your anxiety will melt away.
