Mother's Day was on May 9 this year, and it's a holiday that I have always loved and looked forward to. I never do anything too wild on the day, but my son always makes me a card, and we usually go to the movies or watch something together at home.
This year was the first year I wasn't physically with my son on Mother's Day, and I didn't realize we would miss the day together until it was too late to change everything around.
While my son and I worked out a strategy that we were both happy with for celebrating, I realize not everyone has the ability to do so.
I'm in the middle of a big move this year, and it just so happens that it took place on May 9 (aka Mother's Day). My son was with his father, so we hatched a plan: This year he and his dad celebrated Father's Day on Mother's Day, and he and I will celebrate Mother's Day on Father's Day. Happily, my ex and I get along well, and the arrangement works for everyone, but unfortunately I know not all former couples would be willing to work with each other in this way.
You might have found yourself in a similar boat this year. Some of us might not have been able to physically celebrate Mother's Day with our kids because the health crisis still hasn't calmed down, and not everyone has been vaccinated. As many of us learned last year, that's when Zoom, Skype, and other video chat apps come in handy. My son and I video-chatted this year, and we had blast doing so.
I also wanted to make sure that I did something nice for myself on Mother's Day, especially since I knew I'd be in an emotionally vulnerable space. I didn't want to put too many demands on myself, but sitting by the pool or having a drink on my balcony definitely sounded like things I'd love to do. I had no shame in trying to enjoy Mother's Day in whatever way I could this year.
There are other reasons why moms can't always be with their kids for Mother's Day. Some of those reasons are harder to overcome, such as being incarcerated or being stuck in the middle of a contentious divorce battle. In those instances, it can feel impossible to find any joy in the day at all — which I think is something a lot of us can understand. It could be that Mother's Day was just another day for you this year, and that's OK, too.
When it comes to Mother's Day, I never know quite how to feel. The day ostensibly celebrates mothers, but so many mothers turn around and celebrate their children. My son is the most important person in the world to me, and I hope he feels like I celebrate him every day. While it was tough to not be with him in person this year, I know that he carries the love I have for him everywhere he goes. In the end, that's the most important thing.
Things To Do With Your Kids If You Aren't Physically With Them on Mother's Day
If you need a few ideas for how you can connect with your child or children on Mother's Day if you can't physically be with them, here are a few I've come up with:
- Video-chat as much as you want for as long as you want.
- Watch a movie together with Netflix's Party feature.
- Plan to have the same meal "together" for lunch or dinner.
- Sign up for a class to take together on Outschool or MasterClass.
- Play video games together if you both have the same console.
While none of these is the same as being able to physically cuddle and squeeze your favorite kids in the world, they'll help.
