There's nothing that can be said about 2020 that hasn't already been expressed in countless video chats, distressed memes, and tear-filled and curse-laden phone calls throughout it. It's been a hard time for our country, for our world. It's a time when reality has never seemed more grim.
In the middle of all the complicated things that have happened, people have experienced personal tragedies as well. Your heart can't help but break for these people. Here we find ourselves in one of the most stressful and unpredictable periods ever, and people are bearing unspeakable burdens.
I'll be honest — writing about entertainment news has felt frivolous to me at some points of this year. I can't help but hear Kourtney Kardashian's voice in the back of my head reminding me that "there's people that are dying." Some of the greatest comfort for me, and for many other moms out there, is getting lost in someone else's life for a little bit. It was complicated trying to find a place for that in 2020.
Looking back at this year, however, I can't help but feel it was marked by the vulnerability and strength of some of the biggest stars out there. In particular, there are four women whose stories moved me and so many others to tears. As the year comes to a close, I want to look back at those stories and reflect on why, even in the midst of everything else happening on Earth and beyond right now, it matters and makes a difference.
There was no way any of us could have known what 2020 had in store. We had our first taste of this extremely emotionally trying year with the sudden and tragic death of Kobe Bryant. Kobe was more than just an athlete to countless people around the globe. But as we tried to wrap our heads around how Kobe, his 13-year-old daughter Gianna, and seven others were no longer with us, we couldn't imagine the pain that coursed through Vanessa Bryant.
Vanessa lived every woman's worst nightmare on that January day. To lose both a child and a life partner at the same time is agonizing to think about. It's even more horrifying in the early moments of a story, when details are unsure and any piece of information could be picked up. There were news reports that Vanessa was on that helicopter, reports about her and Kobe having a pact to never be on the helicopter together, and even reports that claimed all of her children had been lost in the crash.
Vanessa had every reason on the planet to be private with her grief. The press hadn’t exactly been kind to her over the years. They'd dissected every aspect of her relationship, said horrible things about her and her children, and dismissed her as another basketball wife. Despite all of that, in the most heart-wrenching moments of her life, Vanessa recognized what Kobe had meant to so many people around the world.
Vanessa did what no one should ever have to. She stood in front of people she loved and shared memories with over the years and eulogized her husband and her baby girl. She did that knowing that millions of people around the world were watching and grieving with her. It's hard to find a woman out there who heard Vanessa's words and didn’t feel their heart break for her and anyone else who has ever known that pain.
By April, we were all learning Broadway star Nick Cordero's story through his wife, Amanda Kloots. Nick found himself in the ICU with what he thought was pneumonia but turned out to be COVID-19. The 41-year-old actor had been otherwise completely healthy. It's what made his fight so much harder to hear about.
People around the globe came to pray for Nick, enjoy his music, and support Amanda and their 1-year-old son, Elvis, through the ups and downs of Nick's condition. He spent over 90 days in the ICU, during which time Amanda bravely told us the raw details of Nick’s prognosis. During that time, he suffered a number of triumphs and setbacks, even losing a leg in the process.
Your heart went out to Amanda, a woman in a new city working on getting her life and her family started when the cruelness of fate intervened. Yet her positivity seemed endless. Even when her tears were streaming on camera, you knew that any bit of hope she had was tied up in Nick and his recovery. When he lost his battle on July 5, the thousands who had followed his story felt their hearts break for the woman who loved him most.
Amanda wasn't on many people's radars before Nick’s illness. Since she opened up about his story, she has hurt and hoped and grieved publicly. She could have chosen to step away, but she didn't, and her reasons weren't selfish. The day before Thanksgiving, she spoke with another widow on Instagram Live about what it was like approaching a holiday without Nick. As painful as that might sound, she was hoping "to help others that are missing someone this year from their table."
About a month after Nick's death, Hollywood was shocked with the news that Chrissy Teigen and John Legend were expecting their third child. Chrissy has been so open about her journey with fertility and IVF to conceive her first two children, Luna and Miles. Many hopeful women wept with joy to hear that Chrissy conceived naturally after being told time and again that she couldn't.
As always, Chrissy was open and honest about this pregnancy. When she was put on bed rest for excessive bleeding due to an issue with her placenta, she continued to talk excitedly about her pregnancy. She even slipped up and revealed they were expecting a little boy, then went with it because that's how Chrissy rolls.
The insight Chrissy gave us into her pregnancy made the news of it ending that much more heartbreaking. Chrissy and John bravely decided to share their pregnancy loss experience with the world. At a time when trolls were already wishing her the worst, at a time when she knew some sick people out there would derive joy from her pain, that was no easy decision to make.
Chrissy and John took some time to grieve privately. When she was ready, Chrissy penned a heart-wrenching essay explaining what led to the loss of baby Jack and how the kindness of others moved her through the hardest time in her life. She was raw and honest, at times eliciting laughs and at other times, brutal tears. The essay meant something to all who read it, whether or not they'd been personally touched by pregnancy loss.
A few weeks later, we were all facing Thanksgiving. For many families, it would be the first major holiday with an empty seat at the table. The feeling of loss permeated the air, the way I felt as a kid growing up in post-9/11 New York. In the heaviness of it all, one of the most polarizing women in the world was ready to share her truth.
In so many ways, Meghan Markle's story has provided the bookends to this year's story of personal pain. Harry and Meghan's decision to walk away from life as senior royals at the beginning of the year caused an immense stir. Meghan continued to be attacked in the media, blamed for a fault line that seems to have always existed among royal heirs and spares. People who liked Harry and Meghan and respected their desire for privacy were happy to see the two find happiness on their own terms.
There have, of course, been high points for Harry and Meghan this year. They've spent a lot of time at home, cherishing their 1-year-old son, Archie. They've made new business deals and settled into a new home and a life they can steer the direction of. Among all that happiness was some more heartbreak, however, the kind that no distance can close.
Ahead of Thanksgiving, Meghan published an op-ed on loss in The New York Times. She revealed that she and Harry had also experienced pregnancy loss during this year. Meghan shared the heart-wrenching details of knowing she was miscarrying as she held Archie in her arms.
In her essay, Meghan noted how important it was to share stories. "Yet despite the staggering commonality of this pain, the conversation remains taboo, riddled with (unwarranted) shame, and perpetuating a cycle of solitary mourning," she wrote of miscarriage in particular.
"Some have bravely shared their stories; they have opened the door, knowing that when one person speaks truth, it gives license for all of us to do the same."
Meghan's point is the common thread that runs through these stories. A woman like Vanessa can inspire a woman like Amanda, who can inspire a woman like Chrissy, who strengthens a woman like Meghan. And yes, people will argue that their pain is cushioned by their fame and fortune and other affluence.
But the fact is that no amount of experience, money, or anything else can shield you from the raw truth that someone you love was once within reach and now is no longer. Telling those stories out loud to a world that ridicules and picks apart what women have to say on a good day is not easy. It is, however, important, because a woman like Vanessa or Amanda or Chrissy or Meghan can inspire, comfort, and strengthen a person like you or me. Even in the moments where that feels frivolous, embarrassing, or absurd, it matters a great deal.
