Chrissy Teigen is still trying to clear her image after it was revealed that she cyberbullied teens and young adults — notably, Courtney Stodden — back in the day. But she's handling it while also dealing with her own personal tragedies — the loss of her son Jack.
While Chrissy bravely detailed how it felt to undergo a pregnancy loss, she's still heavily grieving over a year later. The grief process isn't the same for all, and it's something she'll likely have to carry for the rest of her life. But she explained a method she uses to always keep baby Jack in her heart.
Chrissy talked to Scary Mommy about how she always travels with Jack's ashes, so that he'll always be part of the family.
Chrissy announced the loss of Jack on September 30, 2020. Later on, Chrissy penned an article about how she was feeling, likely as a way to both update her fans who knew of the pregnancy and channel her grief and emotions herself. But it's never easy. On National Sons Day this year, Chrissy made sure to say a few words about her son Miles, along with her late son Jack.
"You gave me the greatest pain I could ever imagine to show me I could survive anything, even if I didn't want to," she wrote. "I didn't get to take care of you but you came and went to get me to love myself and take care of myself because our bodies are precious and life is a miracle." The words themselves are both beautiful and relatable to moms who've been through similar tragedies.
"[After Jack died] I wasn't getting out very much," she admitted to Scary Mommy. "Depression can throw you, obviously. You're hellbent on doing what you can to not be seen and not be a part of the world, and I was making myself so small by being sad and angry and bitter." But now she's working on herself and finding real happiness.
She admitted that while her children Miles and Luna have been aware of the whole process, there are still parts they're unclear on. But for her, that's normal, as she still has questions herself.
"I don’t think they’ll ever quite understand why he didn't make it, in the way that I don't understand," she said. "I had a placental abruption, and I keep having to ask my doctor, 'OK, but why? Why wasn't it able to work? Why didn't we just keep going?'"
But her kids still have a special relationship with their late brother. "We talk about it a lot," Chrissy said. "What felt comfortable for our family was him always being around. Whether we go on a vacation or something, they always say, 'Don't forget baby Jack.' And then I have to pack him up. And then we get to where we're going, they’re like, 'Oh my gosh, he must be thirsty.' This might sound crazy to people, but they'll put a little glass of water next to his little box of ashes. And they really love being a part of it."
Chrissy admitted that getting the ashes back helped offer some closure on what happened. But still, it was tough for the celebrity, who admitted that this pregnancy came as somewhat of a surprise. She underwent a breast reduction procedure before learning the news and said that the pregnancy test she took before going under for the surgery said she wasn't with child.
"I didn't think I could get pregnant naturally anyway," Chrissy said. "But what they say so often can be true. When you give up on trying, life has a way of surprising you." Both Miles and Luna were conceived through IVF, which Chrissy has also been vocal about.
The death of Jack was also a confirmation that she'd never be pregnant again. Of course, there are always other options if Chrissy wants to expand her family. She and John could opt for a surrogate, like Kim Kardashian has done. They could also adopt if they choose that path.
Both the loss of Jack and the bullying accusations that launched Chrissy into the "cancel club" have caused the former model to grow in ways she likely didn't expect. While she did lose a lot of fans after seemingly not understanding the weight of her words, it might take her some time to process the year in full. With the loss of a child and the loss of credibility happening simultaneously, it's a lot for anyone to take in.
But it seems like Chrissy's methods of coping are healthy. She's reportedly attending therapy twice a week and is learning how to move forward. Hopefully, she can still be an inspiration for other women who tragically and unfortunately lose a baby themselves. It's a hard and emotional event to process, and it always helps when a public figure speaks out about it to start to conversation.
