Planning a wedding can be pretty stressful no matter who you are, what your budget is, and what your wedding plans are. For one couple, choosing where to hold their wedding has proven to be the biggest obstacle.
As one half of the couple recently shared on Reddit, it's tough to make sure a wedding is convenient for everyone who might attend.
"Our families are spread out across the United States and there is no singular location that would be convenient for the majority. With this in mind we chose a state no one lives in that is central to all but family on the west coast."
They go on to explain that since everyone was traveling in, they both thought it would be more appropriate to exclude children from the event altogether.
Like, no kids at all.
"This location was by the water and since everyone was traveling we chose to make it more 'adult' – evening, open bar, loud music, no kids."
They go on to explain that they weren't trying to make attending the wedding harder for anyone.
"I understand the hardship of traveling with kids and I also understand the hardship of finding childcare. We weighed the 'no kids' decision heavily."
Their budget was also a factor in the decision.
They go on to add that inviting children would have added on to their wedding budget significantly: "At our venue we had to pay per chair, per plate, and would have had to pay for a babysitting service. This information paired with a waterside venue and the stress of watching children during such a momentous life event sealed the 'no kids' decision."
A lot of people pushed back.
As expected, plenty of parents pushed back. For starters, a lot of parents love traveling with their children of all ages and probably thought the wedding would double as a family trip.
The person writes that their brother is the most angry about the decision.
"This did not go over well. We had pushback from multiple people, but the most extreme reaction came from my older half-brother with two kids. He lives on the opposite side of the country."
The brother has plenty of child care options.
It sounds like finding child care wasn't really a problem for the angry brother:
"My older brother is much older. His ex wife, current wife, biological mom, and other extended family live close to him. When I told him the wedding was child-free he tried to negotiate. For months he would call me, my dad, or my fiancé separately with suggestions. The closer it got to the wedding, the more it escalated."
He even bought a plane ticket for his child.
Things got so out of hand that he even purchased a ticket for his child to attend … a wedding that she wasn't invited to:
"My niece at the time was under 3 and my brother said she would be disappointed by not being invited to attend her aunts wedding. He bought plane tickets for himself and my niece and asked when the rehearsal dinner would be since they would be attending."
He also said he needed a 'disinvitation.'
He went on to insist that he receive a "formal disinvitation":
"When I reminded him the wedding was child-free, he wanted me to write a formal disinvitation to share with the airline in order to obtain a refund. I have never heard of this being grounds for a flight reimbursement."
It's unclear why he didn't let someone watch his daughter.
The couple asked the brother if he had child care options, and it sounds like he did:
"His wife never planned on coming to the wedding and was always planning to watch their young son. My brother insisted that watching his son and daughter would be too much for his wife, alone. Other family members were available to watch his daughter and he declined."
He's still insisting the child come.
He even said he didn't want to attend the wedding; he just wanted to see family:
"Regardless, he said they would have to leave the wedding early so my niece would be in bed on time. He also said he was never planning on traveling for the wedding, just for the family reunion."
The couple is totally confused: Who is in the wrong here?
A lot of people insisted that more than anything, the couple has a right to have the wedding they want. If that means it's kid-free, then that's fine. It's their choice.
Child-free weddings can be a lot of fun.
Another parent weighed in and said child-free weddings are pretty great:
"I actually loved child free weddings when my 2 were little. It was a full day of adult fun, a mini holiday. Anyone who really wants to be there will make it.
"It's very selfish of others to insist their child should be the exception to the rule. It is an adult venue, with drinking, smoking, laxed rules of behaviour not suitable for kids."
Another person dropped a bit of hard truth:
"Many parents seem to think their personal attendance will be sorely missed, this is almost never the case."
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