The teenage years are tough on any parent. No matter how long ago you found yourself in your kid's shoes, there are certain things they can only learn through experience. As much as you want to keep them from experiencing pain or embarrassment, it isn't always possible. Even at the times you can step in and help, it may feel like overstepping. One dad was asking himself just that after an incident at his teenage daughter's sleepover.
A brave 34-year-old dad took to Reddit for advice after hosting a sleepover for his 14-year-old daughter's birthday. He explains that among his daughter's attending friends was a "super-duper cool girl."
After she was rude to the parents when she walked in, dad gave her the benefit of the doubt and assumed she was shy. As the night unfolded, he saw her engage in a number of troubling behaviors. She even made it known she was unimpressed with the birthday girl's gifts.
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Things came to a head when he discovered she said she didn't want to be there. He then excused her from the other girls and had her call home to be picked up. Now he's wondering if he made the right move to protect his daughter.
Sleepovers can be seriously momentous events in a young girl's life. If you've ever experienced one yourself, you know things can get messy. A 34-year-old dad found himself in the midst of the mess after intervening on his daughter's behalf.
The man and his wife were hosting a sleepover for his 14-year-old daughter's birthday. There were five girls in attendance, and one stuck out to the dad immediately. "There was this one girl that she invited who I could tell from her attitude, was a spoiled brat," he shared.
"When she rang the doorbell, she walked in looking down at her phone, didn't greet me or my wife, and handed me her jacket without even looking up," he continued.
Dad tried to give her the benefit of the doubt, assuming she was shy. He figured that's why she spent most of the night glued to her phone.
Later, his daughter clarified that the girl was, in fact, a "super-duper cool girl." Dad couldn't shake the feeling that something was up, but he let it go. The night was going according to plan until it came time to open up gifts.
"SB [Spoiled Brat] made a comment about every single gift. (not exactly snarky, but more like she was just unimpressed)," dad explained. "The final gift was from me and my wife, we bought her an iPhone 7 by pooling all of our remaining extra money to buy her it."
The parents expected their daughter to be thrilled with the gift. That was overshadowed by the cool girl's snobby reaction. "The SB scoffed because she had the newest gen iPhone," he explained.
"I helped my daughter set up the phone with a sim card, and the rest of the night they just hung out in her room."
Later, his daughter came downstairs and behaved unlike herself. "I asked her what was wrong and she just went back up while saying 'why couldn't you have just bought me the newest iPhone?' That was really out of character for her, as she is always grateful for receiving anything."
When his daughter left the phone on the table, he decided to take a look at it. He discovered that the girls had been texting his daughter's new phone. The cool girl continued her snotty attitude there.
"Thanks for inviting me to ur lame slumber party lol, and congrats on the iPhone SEVEN haha," she wrote.
The texts continued from there. The cool girl wrote, "arent u mad that ur parents and friends got u such lame gifts? slumber parties are for little girls lol, but wtvs its cool."
When the birthday girl asked why she didn't like the party, the cool girl replied, "I jus wish i could go home looool."
Dad was pretty mad. At that point, it was 1 a.m. He decided to take action before the girls fell asleep. He knocked on the door and asked the cool girl to grab her things and come downstairs because something had come up.
"I took her downstairs and asked her to call her mom, she asked why and I said 'because that's what you said right? that you wish you could go home? so go.' She was tearing up a bit, and made the call."
"I talked w/ her mom for a bit when she came, I showed her the texts and she apologized profusely and said 'its just a teenager phase I guess. I'm so sorry, but don't you think she could stay? If not I understand,'" dad explained.
“I thought ab it for a bit, but her staying probably would have made it awkward for everyone, so I told her it was best if they just left.”
Dad felt good about what he did until his wife said otherwise. "My wife said that I overreacted, and I should have just talked with SB rather than immediately kick her out," the dad noted.
"I firmly believe I taught her a good lesson that she needed to learn. It was MY DAUGHTER's bday, and I didn't want the rest of her night ruined because of some spoiled brat who was making it all about her. I guess she didn't exactly do anything wrong, but at the same time her attitude was unbelievable."
People were on the fence as to whether or not the dad did the right thing. One commenter praised dad for his handling of the situation.
"You did what your daughter couldn’t and that’s stand up to a bully. It will be years before she realizes that those 'cool people' in high school often time grow up to be terrible people that she would never seek a relationship with outside of that high school setting," the commenter wrote. "But I wouldn’t let someone disrespect my home or my family."
Other commenters felt that dad may have just put a giant target on his daughter's back. They believe he should have let her handle things herself.
"OP was furious that the girl made fun of his gift and exacted vengeance on a 14-year-old girl, who will in turn likely ramp up the bullying on his daughter," one commenter noted. "The people in this thread claiming OP taught this girl some sort of lesson is laughable and not based in reality. I cringe at the thought of OP self-congratulating himself based on the validation he got here while his daughter gets terrorized at school by the Mean Girls. This was absolutely an atrocious move and I feel bad for his daughter."
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