When was the last time that you began celebrating a holiday that you didn't celebrate as a child? For me, the last time I added a holiday celebration to my life as an adult was when I was in my late 30s and decided that I wanted my children to appreciate and celebrate Day of the Dead and pass that tradition on to their children if they choose to have any.
Now, I haven't done any formal research on the topic, but I'd say that most adults tend to celebrate the same holidays that they celebrated as children. For example, I celebrate Christmas on December 24 because my family is of Mexican descent, and Mexican Christmas — yes, Mexican Christmas is totally a thing — is on December 24. My husband, who is not of Mexican descent, grew up celebrating Christmas on December 25, and no matter how often I try to convince him that Mexican Christmas is the only Christmas we need, he insists that Christmas is really only Christmas on December 25.
The point I'm trying to make here is that culture, holidays, and traditions are usually passed down through the generations. They don't usually become a part of your life when you're in your 30s. But that's not always the case. In my case, Day of the Dead was passed up to me via my children when I enrolled them in a Spanish dual-language immersion school. Part of the beauty of dual-language immersion learning is that you learn both a second language and the histories and traditions of the people who speak that language.
Day of the Dead is a big deal in many Latin American countries, and it is a particularly big deal in Mexico, yet it wasn't something that I celebrated as a child, even though my mother was born in Mexico.
I never really knew why we didn't celebrate it until I recently asked my mother, and she told me that it was mostly because my grandmother was born on November 2 — Day of the Dead is celebrated on November 1 and 2 — and she kind of resented having to share her birthday with the holiday. I'm sure Christmas babies can relate. Anyway, growing up, my mother celebrated her mother's birthday and not Day of the Dead, and that's why I didn't grow up celebrating the holiday myself.
Then I grew up and had babies, and those babies ended up at an elementary school that goes all out for Day of the Dead. I fell in love with the holiday and knew I wanted it to be a part of my family's life for generations to come, so I figured I'd better start generating some celebrations and traditions around it.
Just in case there is any confusion, Day of the Dead is not "Mexican Halloween" — yes, Mexican Christmas is a thing, but "Mexican Halloween" is not — there is nothing gory or scary about it. Day of the Dead rituals date back over 3,000 years and are all about honoring the dead and our continued connection to them. The pre-Colombian Indigenous people of Mesoamerica didn't think of death as the end of a person's existence, so instead of grieving the dead, they celebrated them.
Día de los Muertos centers around the idea that every year on November 1 and 2, a portal opens up that allows spirits to visit with the living. November 1 is when the spirits of children visit for 24 hours, and November 2 is when the spirits of adults get to visit for 24 hours. Altars with offerings of food and flowers are set up to receive the very welcome spirits. It's all very lovely and spiritual while also being an excellent way to share the history of ancestors and loved ones with younger family members.
As a parent, Day of the Dead has been such a blessing. The first time I talked to my children about death was as we set up an altar in our home, and it didn't feel sad or scary at all. I told them stories of relatives they never got to meet. Like their Great-Grandmother Santos, who was born on November 2 during the Day of the Dead celebration but never celebrated it because she wasn't into sharing her birthday with a bunch of dead people.
Every year we laugh as I share so many stories that have been passed on to me, like the one about my grandfather who once played cards with the devil on a Greyhound bus and won.
Whether you grew up celebrating Day of the Dead or not, I invite you to learn more about it and use it as an opportunity to honor and celebrate your dearly departed. Share stories with your kids of the people in your life who have died so that when they experience a loss, they will know that when someone dies, we don't stop loving them and we can continue to honor them and feel connected.
