If you’ve ever been to summer camp, then you know that every kid takes to it differently.
Some are homesick and spend their days pouting angrily at distant parents. Others are so taken with the camp experience that it’s hard to even get them back in the car at the end of the summer.
It’s tough to know which kind of kid you have until they actually go off and face the music. One thing is for sure, however. You’ll find out as soon as you get that first letter home.
As we know, there are dangers to giving kids a cell phone or tablet, so most summer camps eliminate it as an issue by establishing old-fashioned snail mail as the only form of communication.
As a result, summer campers get pretty good at committing their every thought to the handwritten page, depending on how motivated they are.
The results, like most fine literature written by kids, are hilarious, heartwarming, and occasionally gross.
Read on below to see a few of our favorite camp letters home!
It's no secret that kids can be pretty gross, especially when Mom and Dad aren't there to uphold basic standards of hygiene.
In our favorite summer camp letter of all time, the masterful authors demonstrates just how disgusting — and hilariously matter-of-fact — the kid thought process is.
Highlights from the first paragraph include his description of "diyareeya," with the telling detail, "It got on my shoes, but not my pillow."
Thank goodness for small blessings, right?
The letter continues in a similar gross-out vein.
The little boy writing the letter has a knack for grotesque, hysterical detail that is very familiar to anyone who has ever parented a 9-year-old boy.
He is careful to note the bowel movements of a horse he rode, and that he used his toothbrush to dig for worms.
But don't worry about his teeth, Mom, "Don't freek out. The guy in the bottem bunk lets me use his. It's safe. I don't know his name, but he can burp the alphabit like me."
He ends his letter with some thoughtful musings on the merit of "oatmeel" and makes sure his mom knows that he has become an expert marksman.
But the real gem of this section is his focus on farts. "Did you know," for example, "that you can light farts on fire?"
Not to worry, he'll show you on "Satterday" and adds in postscript, "Tell my brothers to have lots of farts for Satterday."
We hope Mom had the fire extinguisher handy.
Another particularly priceless letter comes with detailed instruction for "Mom (help from Dad)." Good to know that this is a two-parent mission.
The author of the letter, Caylee, has a serious plan for conquering camp, noting, "I am going to give specific directions in this letter so pay attention."
Yes, ma'am!
First, she requests a specific type of bracelet, presumably a hot commodity at camp.
Then, she gets into the nitty-gritty: Candy. She's sure to inform her loving parents that, "Everyone's moms are sneaking them in candy through their packages."
She even has a man on the inside, saying, "My counselor is evening helping the kids sneak it in, but chocolate will melt."
In case Mom and Dad were uncertain of the time frame, she adds an important note to hustle things along: "Oh, and preferably ASAP"
Some letters are less detailed and specific. Parents receiving them might almost think that their child didn't want to write home.
For example, one camper wrote, "Dear mom, I was forced to write this to eat. Love, Josh."
What do you suppose Josh means by that?
Some letters are just pure, unadulterated tragicomedy.
With the kind of despair only a child can express, this writer lays a serious guilt trip, assuring her mom that camp was good at first, but things took a terrible turn.
She writes, "I got water up my nose, I skinned my leg, and I got BIT by a Donkee, ow!"
She asks for a ride home and closes with, "Love your hurt daughter."
Do you have any amazing "letters home"? Let us know in the comments, and don't forget to SHARE these hilarious campers on Facebook!
