Parents Refuse To Let Adult Son Share A Bedroom With His Boyfriend On Their Family Trip

"Earlier today my parents called and asked if we wanted any upgrades to our rooms (they are booking the rooms, we are transferring them the money for any extra upgrades). When I told them the upgrades I wanted the price they told me didn't match the one on the website," he explained. "I asked if they could double-check because the price they are telling me is $60 more than on the website. They check and send me the same price. Then they send me a link and it takes me to the room upgrade page."

"I finally figure out that they are telling me the upgrade price for a room with two beds, instead of a room with one bed," he said. "I thought that they may have gotten mine and my brother's bookings messed up so I reminded them that I'm bringing my boyfriend, not a friend. They kept insisting on the two-bed room. I told them not to book yet and let me talk to my bf."

"I actually called my sister, I wanted to vent to her how I found it a little unfair that we weren't allowed to share a bed with our partners," he said. "But when I told my sister she told me that our parents book her and her bf a room with one bed. I was in shock. My parents have never shown any disappointment towards my sexuality or my bf as a person so this really stumped me."

"I called them up and told them that I want a room with one bed, they told me that that wasn't going to happen," he continued. "I told them that I knew that my sister was sharing a bed with her boyfriend, they still wouldn't budge. My bf was in the room and he just said it was fine, that he wouldn't go if it upset my parents. This made me more upset at them."

That's when things really took a turn. The Redditor admitted that his parents' refusal to book them a single bed turned into a fight. "I yelled at them, I told them that what they were doing was unfair and then hung up on them," he said. While he has all reason to be upset over the fact that his parents don't acknowledge his relationship the same way they do his straight sibling, he still felt like he might have crossed a line.

While he avoided the word "homophobic" for good reason, it's hard to see this any other way. "I didn't call them homophobic because they haven't given any reason behind this and haven't said anything directly homophobic," he explained. "I'm not sure if its because my sister is older but we are only 2 years apart, there is also not much difference in maturity, we are both goofballs but know when to be serious." Age may have been a factor, but as he's 21, he should be treated like any other adult.

In fact, the two already live together. So it seems as if the relationship is serious. "I was calm until the point that my boyfriend got uncomfortable," he admitted. "I'm super (possibly over) protective and I hate seeing him upset. If it wasn't for this I would have probably sucked it up and just shared one of the bed with my bf."

Some Redditors pointed out the financial aspect of it. By going for two beds, the parents are actually spending more money in trying to keep the two of them apart. "Don't go, do demand a thorough explanation," said Redditor Clarisse1984. "Since this is the first sign they've given you of homophobia, it's necessary you know how things really stand."

Noblestromana had an interesting take on the issue. "I'm jumping in because OP [the original poster] is trying to think of excuses when the obvious reasoning is right there," they wrote. "They have no reason with your sister sharing a bed with her BF because they're in a straight relationship. OP's parents might not be the type of homophobes that will cut their child out of their life." But, as they explained, they may be the kind to sweep it under the rug and pretend it doesn't exist.

"These are the same type of 'accepting' people who say they don't hate gay people but do they really need to get married?" they continued. "They don't hate gay people but please no hand holding and kissing in public because think of the children. It's still homophobia. Just a different flavor of it."

You can tell this Redditor often makes excuses for his parents. That's why he took it to Reddit to see if he was being a jerk by yelling. But it seems as if his parents may have deserved it. While they were paying for the room, they were using it as a way to dictate how their son behaved. They seemed to be hoping that their son and his partner could act as if they're just friends, much like his brother.

Malzun thinks it's definitely the parents who are acting up. And they believe that the real issue here is control. "The fact that they're paying for it means nothing," they wrote. "Plenty of terrible people use the 'I paid for it' excuse as a reason to justify being a terrible person. This is them trying to involve themselves in your love life, and control what you can and cannot do with your boyfriend."

Hopefully, it was all just a big understanding — and his parents had other reasons why they'd want the other room. But it doesn't sound like this story will have a happy ending. It's hard to change the way that parents think and feel, and this Redditor is better off spending his time with people who love him for who he is.

This might be a good time for the OP and his boyfriend to take their own vacation. Not only will they be far away from the stress of his parents, but they can live their life however they want. Who knows what other strange rules and accommodations his parents would have forced him into?