The winter holidays are some of the most cherished days in the calendar year. For many families, it's time off work to spend with loved ones. This year, there may be fewer parties and big gatherings, but there'll still be cards, presents, and — if you're lucky — snow.
However, not everyone is so holly and jolly. A husband went on Reddit's popular "Am I the A–hole?" thread to see if he was in the wrong during a family debate. However, he likely didn't expect the pile-on from other Redditors. Let's just say, there's a lot to unpack in this thread.
"My wife has always been more into holidays than me because she didn't have much of a family and they were dysfunctional," he wrote. "I grew up in a huge family and have already experienced as many big Christmases as I need." That may be OK, until he states something that's quite important — he and his wife have three kids, two being very young.
His kids are 2, 5, and 12.
"She is obsessed with making it 'special,'" he said. "Over the years she's started a lot of new traditions that include decorating the tree and a bookshelf with the kids." So in short, she's trying to provide magical memories that'll stick with the kids when they get older.
"She knows that I don't like to bother with any of that," he said. "I mean I let her do it but I don’t want to be involved since weekends are my days off and that's just unnecessary work."
Sure, some decor may take time to put up. But it seems like the wife and kids are doing fairly normal amounts of holiday decorating for the family.
He even hides in his room when it's time to decorate.
"The thing is she keeps asking me if I want to help, or go with them to see lights (which takes forever), or do gingerbread houses," he said. "I could not have been clearer — so today when she put up the tree I just avoided all of that by staying in the bedroom with the door closed." Not even wanting to witness the home decorating is next level.
The Redditor said that his wife was furious at him for "refusing to participate" and mentioned that it seemed as if he has "holiday-related trauma."
"Really it's the weekend, it's my time, and I just want to relax," he said. "I don't see what the big deal is."
He also told the kids that there's no Santa.
Decorations aside, he also did something very questionable — and mentioned it as a throwaway comment. He's openly told his kids that there's no Santa, even though their mom has let them believe. In a way, it's almost like he's trying to deny his children a happy childhood when it comes to the magic of Christmas.
"They didn't believe me so I'm not even sure why she's mad," he said. "I get that she's trying to give the kids what she didn't have but it's not my fault that she had a hard childhood. It seems like something she needs to get over instead of trying to play catch up."
It's almost as if he's failing to remember that there are kids involved. And it makes you question if something happened to him that he's trying to deny. Because most people would see his wife's actions as being healthy and kind, and not due to trauma of any kind.
Nobody on Reddit was on his side.
And for good reason. It's one thing to want to have an easy holiday — especially this year. Yet it's another to try to take the Christmas spirit away from your family.
"It's your call if you'd like them to always look back on the holiday and remember how you didn't want to engage with them or have fun," said Redditor LadyJekyll. "You should want to make Christmas special for your kids, dude."
CaptainKate757 tried to be a little understanding, also not being into the holiday. "I'm in a similar position," the commenter said. "I don't really care at all about Christmas, but since my step-kids will all be spending it with us, I'm going to do my absolute d-mndest to make sure they get the most out of it. This isn't about what YOU want, it's about creating holiday memories with your children that they will cherish for the rest of their lives. It's really strange to me that you don't realize that."
They also wanted to know how he's spending his free time.
It's fair to ask what the original poster (OP) is doing with all of this free time when he could be decorating. Redditor Additional_Meeting_2 made a good point that it's unlikely he's really evaluating his time properly:
"Decorating a tree takes about an half an hour too. What is he doing all weekends? Locking himself to a room and showing up only to eat? Sitting in front of tv? Leaving to hang out with buddies? He has bigger issues than holidays if he can’t spend any time with the kids."
This story is a great reminder of what's actually important this holiday — and that's family. If this dad wants to opt out of Christmas, he better make sure that he's fully present during all other holidays and occasions. But since he's so set on spoiling things for his kids, it's unlikely he'll be up for the parenting work.
Hopefully, this guy learns a little from the Reddit community. Holidays should be enjoyable and spent making memories with each other.
These stories are based on posts found on Reddit. Reddit is a user-generated social news aggregation, web content rating, and discussion website where registered members submit content to the site and can up- or down-vote the content. The accuracy and authenticity of each story cannot be confirmed by our staff.
