Kate Middleton had a lot to celebrate in 2013. In July, her first baby was born — Prince George. Soon after, she was able to move into a newly renovated Kensington Palace and start thinking about how her life would go, as both a royal and a mother. But while she appeared to be fine in photos, she was suffering in silence. Many moms do.
While a baby's arrival is typically joyous, there's a lot that happens afterward. For one, if a mom chooses to breastfeed, she needs to spend a majority of her day nursing and pumping. Meanwhile, her body is still healing, and her hormones likely haven't settled down. When a new baby comes into the picture, everyone wants to visit — which may amp up anxiety, especially for the planners and hosts among us. For Kate, all eyes were on her. While the world didn't get to openly visit baby George, they demanded to know more about him.
Kate also had to handle much of this alone. At the time of George's arrival, Prince William was working night shifts at Search and Rescue.
Kate admitted her feelings while visiting the Ely and Caerau Children’s Centre in Cardiff, Wales. The center, which got its start in 2005, supports and benefits families. It offers early education, day care, and even workshops in its community room, ranging in topics from baby massage to activities such as "Story and Songtime."
The center is a perfect place for families to connect, and according to Kate, that sort of support is exactly what she needed then. "I had a tiny, tiny baby in the middle of Anglesey," she said, per HuffPost. "It was so isolated, so cut off. I didn’t have any family around and he was doing night shifts. If only I had had a center like this."
One of the reasons why that comment sticks out? Many women feel the same way. After you have a baby, you might not have a good grasp on how your life is going to go. While Kate has more privilege than most of us, we all share a similar journey emotionally. It's never easy.
These are the things that people don't openly tell you when you're expecting a baby. Not only do you lose out on sleep, but sometimes you may feel like you're doing this by yourself — especially if, like Kate, your family is far away. Being on a different schedule than your husband also leads to loneliness.
Kate isn't the only one to recently share her feelings about mothering a newborn. Months before Meghan Markle and Prince Harry officially exited the royal family, Meghan looked notably overwhelmed after a reporter asked her how she was doing with baby Archie.
Chatting with reporter Tom Bradby, Meghan almost broke into tears. "Any woman, especially when they're pregnant, you're really vulnerable, and so that was made really challenging," Meghan said. "And then when you have a newborn, you know. And especially as a woman, it's a lot. So, you add this on top of just trying to be a new mom or trying to be a newlywed."
Meghan also made a point to tell Tom that not many people had asked how she was doing — which likely happened with Kate, as well. The world was buzzing so much over Prince William's firstborn that they never stopped and thought about how Kate was doing in regard to the new arrival. Sometimes, women actually feel as if their thoughts no longer matter.
Kate's journey was even more difficult. After Prince George was born, she had two more children — daughter Charlotte and youngest son Louis. Her pregnancies were notably rough, as she suffered from hyperemesis gravidarum every time. That's a severe form of morning sickness that can lead to an extremely unpleasant pregnancy, sometimes requiring hospitalization.
Still, people keep asking Kate if she's interested in having more children. Just recently, she shut down the rumor by saying, "I don’t think William wants any more." That statement is also a little tough, since even though it's hopefully not the case, it makes it seem like it's only his call to make.
Both Kate and Meghan have done an excellent job telling it like it is. There are so many mothers out there who feel lost, scared, or alone — but not many people are pulling them aside and telling them it's normal and that help is available. This even happens to new mothers who have been awaiting the arrival of their firstborn child for years. You can't always control how you feel.
Kate happens to be a natural with kids. Even though she tries her hardest to commit to the royal protocol, she's been spotted multiple times being a parent first — whether that's sticking her tongue out and making funny faces with her children or expertly trying to soothe a tantrum. Candid photos taken of Kate and her children show just how wonderful and attentive of a mom she is.
She doesn't just talk about motherhood and the importance of maternal health. She also advocates for it herself. In 2018, she participated in a roundtable discussion at the Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists. There, she discussed the stigma around both newborn and maternal fatalities — a grim yet very important topic.
If you're looking for ways to connect with other moms, you should check and see if there's a local group on Facebook. Sometimes, communities also put together workshops and events for new mothers to socialize and plan playdates. They're often more important for the mom than the newborn.
Even though there's a little bit of disruption in the royal family right now, hopefully, Meghan and Kate will have each other's backs when it comes to parenting. They both need to balance overwhelming media attention with being protective and loving moms. While Meghan and Harry have taken a different path in life, Meghan and Kate will always have motherhood in common.
