The summer months can be such a special time for parents and children. Especially if you’re able to take some time off to be with your kids or go on a vacation together and really spend some quality time with each other. Your world is able to slow down a little bit, and for a few weeks, it’s just about spending time together and doing things that both you and your children actually enjoy without being glued to a set schedule.
The thing about spending so much time at home with your kids, though, is that some of them might find themselves feeling weary or anxious come back-to-school time because they don’t want to leave mom or dad’s side. And that’s totally normal for them to feel that way, but there are several ways you can help them through it and bring them to the other side of things so they actually feel excited to attend school each day.
Let’s take a look at some ways you can help to ease your child’s separation anxiety and have them look forward to school each day.
1. Prior to the start of school, ease them into some routine time apart.
A few weeks before school starts is the best time to start thinking about how your child is going to behave once you drop them at the school doors on their first day. With that in mind, you may want to start implementing a few times each week when you’re apart and not to make a big deal of it.
For instance, if you have the great fortune of working from home, maybe take two to three mornings in the lead-up to school, as long as you have viable child care, and actually head into the office or a coffee shop to have some time away from home and the kids.
Or you could plan for a nanny or babysitter to come once or twice a week to be with your child while you head out for a few hours to run some errands or even have a get-together with friends. Try to have the caretaker do something fun that your child enjoys so that they’ll find the time apart to be pleasurable and they’re not just watching the clock the entire time.
Whatever option works out best for you, it’s essential to start the process of separating from your child and their eye-line and presence, even for a few hours each week, to let them know that it’s perfectly OK when mommy or daddy isn’t right by their side.
2. Set up a quick, easy, and positive goodbye routine.
The thing to remember about the goodbye routine when dropping off a child with separation anxiety at school is to keep things short and sweet.
You can help get them excited for their school day ahead on the walk or ride to school by making yourself aware of the class calendar and the fun things they’re going to be doing that day. Remind them of what’s on the agenda that day for arts and crafts or science class and the cool things that they’ll get to learn and experience.
When it comes time to actually say goodbye, you can make a ritual of telling them to have a fantastic day at school and you’ll see them when they’re done, give them a quick hug and kiss, and send them on their way.
It’s important to not slow down the process of saying goodbye and parting ways because that can lead to a rough or prolonged transition process that’s just not good for anyone involved, most especially the child.
3. Have your child learn about their independence while making new friends at school.
When thinking about their sense of independence and how you can help them to utilize it and even appreciate it at home prior to school starting, it can be a good idea to start with small, everyday things. You can encourage them to pick out their clothes and get dressed independently. Or you can give them their own bathroom time without mom or dad washing their face and brushing their teeth.
And you can relay that sense of independence and how great it can feel for them to accomplish things all on their own when it comes to being at school and making friends. For instance, you could always look at the class list and pick out any family or neighborhood friends they have in their class and use that to your advantage.
You can set up playdates prior to school starting with one or two of the kids that your child likes or feels comfortable around, and then when it comes time to attend school each day, you can remind them that they get to go to school and play with Anna or Jeffrey at recess time or in gym class.
When they get a sense of having a life and friends all their own while at school, it can really help to alleviate some of those anxious feelings that can come from separating from their parents and going off to live their own day at school.
