Kristen Wiig surprised her fans when she announced the arrival of not one, but two babies. Choosing to use a surrogate, she revealed that she had been trying to have her own child through IVF, but it wasn't possible.
After trying for years, she admitted that the emotional process was exhausting. "I wish I had talked about it more and asked for more help," she admitted to InStyle. "Emotionally, spiritually and medically, it was probably the most difficult time in my life. I wasn't myself."
Luckily, Kristen's journey toward parenthood finally happened in early 2020. Kristen took some time to announce the news — but that's all in character for her. The star is known for keeping her life private and has actually abstained from social media entirely.
That said, she's still on the talk show circuit and opening up about motherhood. And most seasoned moms will agree with her when she reveals how hard it's been.
In fact, not many people know that Kristen has been in a steady relationship for years. She is officially married to Avi Rothman, who proposed to her back in August 2019. The news of their marriage was just confirmed in February 2021.
Waiting so long to experience motherhood was draining on Kristen — especially since IVF is never an easy process. "It got to the point where I just kind of stopped talking about it entirely, because I would get sad whenever someone asked," she admitted. "It was just part of my life. I gave myself shots in airplane bathrooms and at restaurants — and those shots are no joke."
Kristen initially announced the news while hosting the Saturday Night Live Mother's Day episode. It seemed like a good time to tell her fans and friends what was happening in her life. In the monologue, she stated, "I don't know if I truly appreciated my mom the first 45 years of my life. But this year I’m feeling especially grateful for her advice, her love. I’m so thankful for all the things she's taught me, like preparing to be a mom myself."
Kristen quietly revealed the names of her twins in the credits of one of her most recent films, Barb & Star Go To Vista Del Mar. In the special thanks section, she made sure to thank "Avi, Luna & Shiloh." While attempting to shield the twins from the public eye, she's definitely more open about how her motherhood experience has been so far.
Kristen appeared on The Late Late Show With James Corden and made a point to chat about how her life has been going. James, who has three kids of his own, likely knows the stress and chaos that multiples can provide. He asked her about motherhood, and Kristen was honest — yet also quite funny.
When talking about getting a break, Kristen explained, "I go outside and sit on the curb sometimes." And it makes a lot of sense. It's being "away," but not really being away in case something happens. That's a new motherhood pressure that nobody ever seems to share.
"Because I'm afraid, I don't wanna go on a full walk because then sometimes I feel like, 'Oh, I should be there.' But I need to get out, so I sit on the curb. Or just walk around in the driveway and FaceTime Annie." Annie is Annie Mumolo, her longtime friend and movie costar.
While she sounds a bit exhausted — which is to be expected with twins — the years of trying were for these exact moments. That said, it's still very important that she opened up about her journey with IVF. While it does work and provide miracles for many women, it's never a complete guarantee.
Like many women trying to get pregnant, the failures and negative tests became overwhelming. "I remember when our doctor mentioned going other routes, and I was just like, 'Nope. Don't ever bring that up again. I'm getting pregnant. I'm doing this,'" Kristen told InStyle. "I finally realized that I just needed help. And, thank God, we found the most amazing surrogate."
While it might not have been the road to motherhood that she expected, things worked out. "It was a very long road. But the little munchkins are here. We tried to keep the [surrogacy] process private for as long as possible, because it is a very private thing," she said. "Unfortunately, we were photographed with them — and, well, it's out there!"
Luckily, Kristen still has plenty of good ways to respect their privacy. Plenty of celebrities have taken more action in making sure their children aren't hounded by paparazzi, so she's in good company. But even though she likes her own privacy, she said she felt really relieved when reading about other women's accounts of infertility. It's a heartbreaking diagnosis for so many women.
"I’m trying to find that space where I can keep my privacy and also be there for someone else who may be going through it," Kristen admitted. And it seems as if she's doing exactly that. The more people who open up about infertility, the less of a scary topic it can be. So many people end up suffering in silence.
Having twins is difficult for anyone. But surely, Kristen and Avi are working together to keep their marriage strong. Kristen admits that their IVF struggles took up a lot of their relationship prior to marriage. But if they could survive those disappointments together, they can survive anything.
While we likely won't learn much about Kristen's children, or see them grow up through social media, we at least know that they were born into a loving family. And it's important to remember that surrogacy is often a good option for families in the same position. Hopefully, Kristen allows herself a full walk around the block one of these days, since she truly deserves it.
