My son becomes a teenager in less than a month. That sentence is wild to write — in fact, that is the first time I have written it at all — and it's the kind of sentence that can really take your breath away.
When your babies are little, you know that the teen years are somewhere, out there, but the reality is that the most honest parenting cliché is that the time goes so, so fast. Most of us know it's true — it's the thought that keeps us up at night, second- and third-guessing every decision we make. Will this mess him up? Will that? Am I really a good mom if I do things this way?
I'm in a place where I feel like I am genuinely making things up one day at a time. When it comes to my kid, I want to always be his emotional constant and a strong presence in his life, but I'm not always sure how to do that. When I heard about mom coach and astrologer Tara Vogel of Luminary Parenting, I jumped at the chance to talk to her, because who knew? Maybe an astrological reading about my kid was exactly the thing I needed as we both head into the coming years.
If you're unfamiliar, astrology is essentially the study of how celestial objects (the sun, stars, and moon, for example) may influence our lives. Some people believe in it, some people don't, but I once read something that really stuck with me: If the moon is powerful enough to impact the ocean, why wouldn't it be powerful enough to impact us?
Tara Vogel describes herself as an astrologer and coach for "mindful moms." Chances are, if you're reading this, then that's exactly what you are. As she describes it, a mindful mom is one who "put[s] a lot of energy into their parenting and they're working hard to do whatever they can to support their kids."
In other words, if you've read all the parenting books and the parenting articles and you're still looking for more, congrats: You're a mindful mom.
Tara has been through a lot as a mom herself. When her daughter was 5, she was diagnosed with cerebral palsy. Her daughter's care was taxing on the family, and Tara ended up working with a parenting coach who could help her process the multitude of feelings and unique experiences she was going through.
At one point, a friend suggested she have her daughter's natal chart read, just to see. Something clicked into place, and Tara found her calling.
Having your child's natal chart read isn't as complicated as it might sound. When I emailed to set up my own reading for my son, Tara needed only a little bit of information: his full name, date of birth, time of birth, and place of birth. I am familiar with astrology myself, but not beyond the basics — I really wasn't sure what to expect from the experience.
As soon as we jumped on the phone, I could tell the call was going to be good. Tara has an incredibly soothing energy, something that I needed in that moment in more ways than one. After explaining to me what she does and why, Tara jumped in to chat about my son in all of his complicated and beautiful glory.
I went into the experience with an open heart and mind — I was receptive to the reading, but told myself to make sure I didn't let myself be led by anything Tara might ask. It's not that I didn't trust her; it's more that I didn't want to put my own projections about my child in anything. In other words, I really wanted to let the chart and the stars do the work.
I'm not going to reveal the details of the reading because it's personal, but trust when I say that I was absolutely floored. I have a very close relationship with my son and genuinely didn't expect to find out anything I didn't already know, but Tara was able to speak to experiences we are going through now that she had no way of knowing about; she tapped into the very spirit of who my kid is and explained so many of his strengths, weaknesses, quirks, highs, and lows in our hour-long phone call.
I took pages and pages of notes — far more than I expected. I told my son nearly everything she told me, and he was at times overwhelmed by things that he already knew were true. There is one thing I will share: Tara told me I am the emotional center of my son's life, and when I told him, he had to stop completely and be still before answering, "You are."
As parents, it is easy to get lost in the what-ifs and the ways we could be messing up. This is true if we are with our kids 24/7 or if we go weeks without seeing our children in person. This is true really no matter what; it seems to me that part of being a parent is living in a constant state of I-don't-know-if-this-is-OK and just having to make peace with that.
The Luminary Parenting reading helped me unlock a few things: insight into who my child can become and the tight hold I keep on myself as a mom. It allowed me to step back for a moment and just genuinely appreciate this kid who I love more than anyone or anything in this universe. It helped me understand more about myself, about our relationship, and about the hows and whys that make it work. In short, this reading made me a better parent, and that makes my kid a happier one.
