Taking care of your health looks different for each and every person. Some people find staying healthy effortless, while others require more help along the way.
One Redditor is coming under fire after suggesting that his girlfriend goes to the doctor too often. He explains his comments come from a place of concern, but commenters have a feeling there's something else going on besides what the original poster (OP) believes.
Commenters questioned whether OP really believed his girlfriend was ill and what it meant for their relationship if he didn't.
OP explains why he came to voice his concerns to his girlfriend.
The original poster explained that he was concerned by the amount of time his girlfriend was putting into maintaining her health, not to mention how much medication she was taking.
"I (26M) have been dating my gf (25F) for about a year. And she visits the doctor A LOT. And I mean … a lot. Like once or twice every month," he wrote.
"She claims that she's having lots of health issues (hypotension, chronic migraines, a minor heart condition). They all seem like minor issues (except her migraines) and I feel like she's causing more harm than good by pumping her body full of pills."
He spoke up when she started experiencing stomach ulcers.
"She [is also] developing a bunch of stomach ulcers due to all the medication. And recently she had an allergic reaction to some antibiotics because apparently she's been experiencing diarrhea for a week," he shared.
"Her reaction was severe and she had a fever of 40+ degrees Celsius (104 degrees Farenheit) paired with mental confusion."
The symptoms she was experiencing concerned OP.
"The next morning I decided to talk to her about her frequent trips to the doctor. I told her that taking too much medication might compromise her health further. That I haven't met someone else that frequents the doctor as much as she does," he continued.
"And I also bought up the fact that health care is expensive… and asked her how she's planning on sustaining her lifestyle. She told me that money isn't an issue – that her parents are helping her out and she's on a great healthcare plan. And that I can't compare her health to other people I know."
OP persisted, to his girlfriend's displeasure.
"But I still feel like she's compromising her health further … especially given her stomach ulcers. I reminded her that she's still young, and if she causes damage to her body now it might cause more issues in the future," he wrote.
"She got upset at me and said that I have no right to speak on behalf of her body. That she's fully aware of the side effects of the meds she's on, but that she's fine with it."
OP's girlfriend left, and he's finding it hard to find someone who sympathizes.
Having had it with OP's hot takes on her health, his girlfriend left to clear her mind. He wasn't thrilled.
"She went to her parents and haven't returned yet. She's not talking to me either," he noted.
"I reached out to her parents to ask if she's okay. They say I was out of line, and that she's dealing with a lot at the time. She's still recovering from her allergic reaction and they reminded me that illness is something that she's been dealing with for ages. She's ignoring my texts and calls. Was I out of line?"
Commenters let OP know just how wrong he was.
Many commenters were quick to point out that it didn't seem much like OP really believed his girlfriend had these health issues, let alone understood the severity of them.
"Hypotension and a heart condition are more concerning than migraines in a 25 y/o. Diarrhea isn't an allergic reaction, it's a side effect that some experience on some antibiotics. A fever is also not an allergic reaction," one commenter wrote.
"In short you have no idea what the hell you’re talking about. She’s seeing her doctor about her health."
Others pointed out how OP's dismissive attitude reflected how women with medical concerns are often treated.
"Her parents believe she's genuinely sick. Why don't you?" another commenter wrote.
"I'll leave it to others to dig up the stats about how chronic illnesses in women take YEARS to diagnose, mostly because men just blow them off as crazy."
One wise commenter urged OP to stop taking his own health for granted.
As this commenter pointed out, people juggle much more at much younger ages because sometimes, they have no other choice. His position, they felt, took for granted his own health.
"Apparently you take your health so for granted that you can't even conceptualise that somebody else might have actual medical issues that they see doctors and take medication for," they wrote.
"'Asked her how she's planning on sustaining her lifestyle'. Her lifestyle?! [Expletive], spare me. BTW, two appointments a month is not a lot. Up until recently I was seeing various allied health professionals + doctors to the point I had two appointments a week. Don't be surprised if she decides that she doesn't need the stress of such a ridiculously unsupportive partner."
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