My parents kept every single note I wrote to them. From thank-you notes to apologies, they all existed in a dresser drawer. In our family, written communication was a big deal.
It's just a shame I never thought to keep the multiple notes my mom wrote back to me at lunch. Usually, it was just a sentence or two, but it's all I needed. Seeing her handwriting was comforting. It was a reminder that no matter how stressful my school days could be, I had my mom back at home.
The same can't be said for 7-year-old Rosie. When she gets home from school, her military dad is often not around. For most of this year, he was deployed in Afghanistan. As the troops work hard to fight for our country, it's important to remember how much they're really sacrificing. For Rosie's dad, Staff Sgt. Philip Gray, he's missing the opportunity to see his little girl grow up. The whole family feels the loss.
Luckily, he found a way to remedy that situation. He went ahead and wrote 270 lunch notes for Rosie to read while he was away. That way, every day, she still had a memento that reminded her that her dad loved her.
Rosie's dad expected to be gone for 270 days, so that's how he thought up the number. However, he shouldn't get full credit for the idea — Rosie's mom, Kristen Gray, said that she was the one who put the idea in his head. Each message was unique in its own way.
"He wrote anything from, 'You are super girl' to 'Smiling makes everyone else smile,'" Kristen told Good Morning America. "He was very big on feel-good words for her and girl power. He made sure to tell her how smart she was, and run fast in P.E. and things that would really make her happy."
The notes were written well ahead of time. To surprise Rosie, Kristen slipped a note in her lunch before school every day. Not only did the notes have words of affirmation on them, but sometimes they also included fun doodles and other drawings to make Rosie smile.
Luckily, Rosie was able to reunite with her dad before a year had passed. He initially left on October 7, 2019, but was able to come back home on August 8, 2020. His timing was excellent, since he arrived back just before Rosie's birthday. Surely it was the best gift she could have asked for.
But even though his presence is wonderful, Rosie still reportedly misses the lunch notes. Who can blame her? They were a big part of her day throughout 2020. "Now that I'm home … she asks me, 'Dad are you going leave me and mom a note?'" her dad said to GMA. "I say 'Yes bug, I will leave you a note.'"
Philip also admitted that being away from his family is very hard. Being able to make it home for Rosie's birthday was something that he genuinely appreciated. "It's a very emotional time," he admitted. "I missed all the holidays. Thankfully, this time around was just under a year so I didn't have to miss birthdays as well."
This year must have been even harder for military parents who had to be away. With everyone's health at stake, it must have felt even more lonely to stay inside when your spouse has been deployed. But military families often prove how strong and resilient they can be.
The notes themselves are an excellent idea that any long-distance parent could take on. Each day, you're giving your child something to look forward to. Just being able to have that type of connection while stationed in another country can make a hard situation slightly more bearable.
Philip said that he started writing the notes well before the threat of the virus became part of everyone's lives. "I wrote all of the notes in a span of about four days or so while we sat down and enjoyed our evenings together the week before I deployed," he told WWNY-TV. It made the experience even more personal.
Many of the notes mentioned Rosie's smile, which is one of the many things that Philip loves about his daughter. One of the notes in particular that he remembers is, "Always smile, it always makes everyone else smile." That's a solid compliment that anyone would love to receive.
Kristen was so touched by the whole ordeal that she filmed some of the notes on TikTok. From there, it took off — and Philip unintentionally went viral. "There was an online trend going on, and usually I don't jump on any online trends, but this one was kind of like a husband brag," she admits.
The video was taken when Kristen wanted to find a way to honor him and showcase the love he has for his family. "I was thinking in my head, I don't know what I can put into a 15-second video that would justify just how great of a husband and father he is," she said. "But then I was looking through the kitchen, cleaning out some of the drawers, and I saw all these notes. I said this would be perfect."
"I think it was just a couple days later after I had shared that video, I had an email from one of the producers [of The Kelly Clarkson Show] saying that they wanted to include us in their Veterans Day show, and asked if we could get in touch and talk about it a little more. The following week we were filming the show," Kristen said. From then on, they were flooded with responses and commentary about Philip's sweet gesture.
The Gray family has proven that there are plenty of ways to show love and support when you can't be close by. Even for parents who aren't in the military, learning new ways to express feelings when you can't meet up face-to-face is important. Why not write a note to a loved one today?
