Oof: One mom has found herself in a pretty tight spot. Her 8-year-old daughter recently tested into her school's Gifted and Talented class, which is awesome! The downside, though, is that the class is predominantly made up of boys, and her daughter isn't really into the idea of joining them, as she posted on Reddit:
“My daughter, 8, tested into the Gifted and Talented program for next school year. We found out in February and have until May to make a decision. The class historically is mostly all boy. This year there are 17 boys and 3 girls, last year there were 15 boys and 2 girls, and the year before that was 19 boys and 2 girls. All of the parents of kids that tested in were instructed to come to an informational meeting. There were 18 kids that tested in this year and only 3 were girls. My daughter does not want to do it because she doesn’t want to be one of the few girls in class. The gifted class stays together throughout the rest of elementary school, 4th and 5th grade, and then have the option to continue the program at the middle school level, 6 though 8th grade.”
The mom goes on to write:
“At first I thought we should let her make the call but since she has been doing eschool thanks to the schools shutting down, I can see how quickly she goes through regular school work. I don’t know if it is in her best interest to be in the gen ed classroom this year. We can always pull her from the program but can’t put her back into the program. Should we make the call and enroll her despite the huge gender gap?”
This sounds like a really tough spot to be in! On one hand, the educational opportunities that might open to her daughter through being part of this class could be hard to find elsewhere. On the other hand, a lot of us know how tough it can feel when you're the odd one out in any group setting, not just a classroom.
Some people feel like this is a great opportunity for her kid that she shouldn't miss:
“Being a minority and pioneering the way for others is a really great opportunity! She will still have her current friends, and can make more in this class. Maybe there are more boys now, but she could help encourage other girls to feel comfortable in this advanced class by attending and sharing her experience.
“Better to try and make an informed opinion afterward than to never try and never know what’s out there. It’s hard to experience change, but this could show her that she can overcome her initial worries through experience, and learning to adapt.
“I’d like to include all gender identities in my statement, but didn’t word my initial paragraph as such to be more specific to yours and your daughter’s situation.”
Others are openly wondering if there's a reason why there aren't more girls in the class. Like maybe they aren't being tested? But others think that the reason there are so few girls in the class is because of exactly what this mom is describing:
“I suspect it has nothing to do with testing or testing results. I suspect it has to do with the exact same issue that OP is talking about. Girls are tested and admitted and then say ‘it’s mostly boys, I’m not going’. Rinse and repeat with all the other girls.”
Another parent explained that in their district, boys often dominate the gifted classes because they're more obvious:
“It’s not unusual. In our district, it’s not uncommon to have just two or three girls in gifted until middle school. In 4th grade, it evens out because there’s a mandatory screening (basic, first level screening, not the full deal) in 3rd.
“Gifted boys will act out if bored in a typical classroom setting so their parents insist they are bored, they need to be screened. Gifted girls typically just put their heads down and get it done so they often get overlooked.”
Another parent weighed in with advice of their own after having gone through the same thing with their own daughter:
“My daughter was one of 4 girls (17 boys) in the self contained gifted class from 5th grade until 8th grade. There was some awkwardness in the later middle school years, as was expected, but my daughter loved her experience in the class. She’s a sophomore in high school now and her close group of friends (3 boys and 1 other girl) are all from the gifted program. By choice she participates on the male dominated robotics and quiz bowl teams and is a member of the chess and MTG clubs. She also does orchestra, which is about equal in terms of gender, but her section is mostly female so she has an escape if the boys are too much. She is comfortable being one of the only girls in the room and thinks it’s because of her experience in the gifted class. My daughter read a study saying girls at all girl schools surrounded by high achieving girls have better outcomes than girls at coed schools surrounded by high achieving boys, but my daughter argued that the self contained gifted program was the greatest equalizer. They were all smart and knew it so she never felt like her classmates underestimated her based on her gender or race (only underrepresented minority in the class). They were a quirky bunch who valued intelligence.”
Ultimately, it seems that most people think that this is a safer way for her daughter to learn to deal with adversity and things that are hard:
“If your child can learn adversity in the safest way, would you want that for her? She might always be the only female in the room, so why not learn now how to communicate and work with people are not like her. It might be hard or uncomfortable for her now, but the tools she will gain will be tenfold.”
The mom's question and concern is super valid, though. Last year, the National Bureau of Economic Research published a paper that indicates troubling data. According to MarketWatch, "Greater exposure to high-achieving boys in high school negatively impacts girls’ science and math grades."
On top of that, "It also reduces their likelihood of completing a bachelor’s degree and, according to new data, they pursue two-year degrees instead."
And that's pretty sobering news. Angela Cools, the coauthor of the paper, explains, "Being in a [high-school grade] with a lot of high-achieving male peers hurts women’s long-run educational attainment. They are less likely to complete a bachelor’s degree and, instead, they are completing either associate’s degrees or vocational or technical degrees."
However, when girls are in classrooms filled with other high-achieving girls, the opposite happens. "Being exposed to high-achieving girls, meanwhile, had a very different impact on certain groups of girls. Those who had lower ability, who didn’t have a college-educated parent and who went to a school in the upper half of the socioeconomic spread, were actually more likely to earn a bachelor’s degree if they had greater exposure to high-achieving female peers, according to the study."
Angela also said that the results were a bit of a surprise. "It is a little bit surprising to us that we find these very strong results for girls." She notes that high-achieving boys did well if they were in classes with boys or girls, and that "we find no results for boys of having high-achieving peers of any gender."
The ideas here have been echoed before. The Guardian published an article in 2007 that asserts, in part: "Single-sex education seems to have a negative social impact for boys and a positive academic impact for girls."
There are a multitude of reasons why this could be, but generally it's agreed upon that when girls are in same-sex schools, they are more free to make educational decisions based on subjects they like and excel in, and they don't worry that a subject might be something that "only boys do."
In the end, this is a yet another one of those personal decisions each family must make together. While there are clear pros and cons, the family may have to let the decision ultimately rest with the child, who will be the one in the class in the first place.
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