Moms And Dads Reveal The Dark Parenting Moment That Nothing Could Have Prepared Them For

Some parents will find the first time their kid drops an expletive funny. It's not as funny when it happens outside the home, however. While most people think parents carefully watch their mouths around their kids, that isn't always the case. Some parents don't see a problem with cursing around the kids as long as the kids don't repeat it. But all kids will test those limits at one point or another, as one mom shared.

"Took my daughter to the park when she was around 3. Got on the slide, came tumbling off faster than she expected. She proceeded to stand up, put her hands on her hips, and matter of factly proclaim, 'well, [expletive].'"

One mom shared a comment from her kindergartner that cut deep. “My daughter once said to me, ‘Ashley is prettier than you.’ Ashley is her stepmother and at the time, my daughter was barely in kindergarten and her dad had just remarried. She wasn’t trying to be mean but it hurt my feelings so much I couldn’t even say anything,” she wrote.

“Kids that young don’t really understand the impact of their comments and as a parent, it’s hard to come up with a response to that. I still think about it and still get bummed out.”

While one parent simply replied, "The Night of the 26 Vomits," other parents elaborated on their experience dealing with insane amounts of child vomit.

“Kid vomits in his crib. Put kid in my bed with his mother while I put all the crib bedding in the washing machine,” one dad wrote.

“Find out later that I should have rinsed (that, is hosed off) said bedding in a sink with a very forgiving drain before putting it in my washing machine, but that’s another story. Get back to my bed, see that my kid has vomited all over its bedding and himself. Change him, comfort him, tuck him back into his freshly made crib.

“I was far too sleep-deprived to remember how many times I repeated this process that night. Some of the repeats may well have been hallucinations. God, I hope so.”

"If you have multiple children, you probably have a favorite," one parent wrote.

If you have multiple kids, you'll often field the question of which is your favorite. While parents reassure kids that they don't have favorites, that's not always the whole truth. Parents can favor or resent a child for being too much like them or like their co-parent. Having the favorite isn't the issue so much as how much your children may be aware of that and how that can impact them.

As parents, we do everything we can to nurture our kids so that they can thrive. Sometimes, they have to learn the hard way, which parents struggle with.

"Can't believe this wasn't stated really. Sometimes you need to let the kids fail," one parent noted. "You can't always be there to rescue them. It's hard to watch your kid fail. Especially as parent when every fiber of your being is telling you to help them because as a parent the only thing you want is for them to succeed."

"That you can resent your child. You always love them, but sometimes you can really resent them, even dislike them," wrote one parent.

"Children can come between your marriage and there is ALWAYS one partner who feels more isolated or boxed out than the other at some point. Dealing with those feelings are a part of the dark side of parenting that people typically don't talk about."

Another parent added to that with how complicated it becomes when children are disabled. "You go through so much to bring them into the world, but once they arrive the joy is short-lived because you soon find that something isn't right. And it's not just the exhaustion of the screaming and refusing to feed. You just sense that something is amiss even through the cloud of 'god this child is hard [expletive] work,'" the parent wrote.

“It all comes out in the wash, and the child you expected to come into your life isn’t there. Instead, you have this incredibly dependent child. They can’t function without you, even as they grow older. They can’t get their own clothes to wear, they need nannying through their eating even when they’re much older. The screaming carries on and they kick and lash out at you, because they can’t make themselves understood. Mum, why can’t you understand my pain?

“I absolutely adore my children, but sometimes when you’re in charge of their care 24/7 because of a disability, with no hope of a break and people around who just don’t get the deal, it’s hard not to feel resentment. You’re in a cage with your child. They’re still beautiful even so, but [redacted] if you don’t hope they’ll eventually have something of their own life.”

Parents discussed the dark truth about shaken babies. No parent ever imagines themselves being the ones who will hurt their child, but sometimes exhaustion and desperation take their tolls.

"At 3 am, when you haven't slept more than 3 hours at a time, the baby is screaming and won't take a bottle when you know they are hungry, your head is pounding and you are so frustrated you could scream, you can see how some of those parents who shook their babies aren't monsters. They truly let their frustrations/sleeplessness/anxiety and panic overtake their logical mind," one parent wrote.

“Disclaimer: if you are frustrated and can feel yourself moving towards this feeling of breaking, set the baby down and go to a different room for a couple minutes. If the baby is screaming in your arms, they’re gonna be fine for a couple minutes for you to gather your senses. Regroup, call someone and talk, go outside and take a deep breath.”

The hardest moment any parent can experience is the loss of a child. The news is especially heavy for parents of newborns, who have their dreams and expectations for the future cut painfully short.

"That you can have a picture-perfect pregnancy, do all the right things, eat only the healthiest foods and walk out of the hospital with a tiny cardboard box full of mementos and funeral home information," one parent shared.

"That just because you planned on having this child, prepared for it, it doesn't mean it's going to work out that way. Even worse, sometimes you do bring home the baby and then get hit with the lesson that not all kids live to be adults. It makes you want to buy them everything they want and never say no to them…just in case the last memory they made with you is of you saying 'Not now, I'm busy. We'll do that tomorrow.'"

"When the same little girl who used to be your best friend suddenly becomes disgusted with your very existence when the hormones start flowing," one dad wrote. "Anything you do other [than] leave her to herself makes it worse."

The teenage years become an incredibly difficult frontier for a lot of parents. Your kids become difficult to communicate with as they struggle to find their independence while still living under your rules.

“PPD is way, way more common than anyone wants to admit, and it can happen to fathers too,” wrote one parent. This led many parents to share their experiences with being either the primary parent with PPD or the one who had to support the parent suffering. While it’s a time that passes, and families are typically able to fight their way through, it does take a toll as you live the stark difference between what you thought life with a new family would be like and what it actually is like.

"I read/heard someone describe having kids as having your heart walk around outside your body, and as [expletive]-Facebook-sharebait as that sounds, it's fairly accurate," one parent expressed.

"You have to just deal with those feelings though, or you'll end up overbearing. I know a lady who never lets anyone else look after her kid even though she has a good support network. Her son has a few issues with allergies so the only person she trusts is herself, even though her family (people willing to babysit or look after the little guy for a few hours) are doctors and nurses. I can kind of understand how easy it would be to end up as one of those parents, but it's not a good way to be."

One parent explained the self-blame they went through around their child's speech delay. "When your child is born with a delay. My son has a speech delay and some developmental issues. I read comments all the time about things people's 2-3 year olds say," they wrote.

"I am amazed that their child can say some of the things they can at that age. That their child can ask questions that require thought behind them. … My son is 3.5 and is getting better but still most of his vocabulary is jumbled nonsense.

"I wonder if he can understand, comprehend and just can't vocalize? The thing is that only time will tell which is extremely difficult. I've finally (after going to in independent speech therapists, occupational therapy etc) [enrolled] him in pre-k which is helping. It's just the sort of thing that you can't wrap your head around and start to blame yourself."

Parents struggle with laying down the law, particularly in frustrating situations. Then they deal with the guilt of approaching the situation badly, which puts more pressure on them the next time it comes up.

"The things you find yourself doing to get your wished for results, like getting your kid to eat," one parent explained.

"My wife takes a negative approach in this sometimes, today she said to our 3 year old 'Eat up or you're going to have to go to hospital and get put on a drip' which is messed up because he's real scared of needles. I do ok with mealtimes but at bedtime I've threatened him with being given eye-drops if he doesn't settle down, which he hates."