Myka and James Stauffer, the YouTube stars who recently "rehomed" their own child, have launched a new defense for their actions: Their 4-year-old son "wanted" to live with another family.
In a somewhat confusing video update, Myka says, "We would never just give up a child with special needs; this is a personal matter to Hux; it had nothing to do with he just had autism. Multiple scary things happened inside the home towards our other children, and if these events happened with one of my biological kids, after all the help and after the behaviors we witnessed sadly we would have no other choice then to seek help and get their needs met."
She goes on to say, "Huxley wanted this decision 100%. We saw that in family time with other people, he constantly chose them and signed with and showed tons of emotion to show us and let us know he wanted this. Huxley never had a say in his adoption, and he needed more help and also wanted this, and we know that 100%."
With this update, Myka really brings up a very popular parenting topic: When are children old enough to make decisions for themselves? On one hand, many parents will argue that children should be allowed to make decisions for themselves as early as they'd like to. And that's super valid, but those decisions should also be age-appropriate.
Motherly explains that for a 4-year-old, there are plenty of age-appropriate options. "For a preschooler, it's ideal to give a few choices, whether it's broccoli or spinach, dress-up or a puzzle, or what to wear to school."
And as a mom, I totally agree with this. Choosing between two vegetables that are both good for you? Awesome. Choosing to go live with another family? Hmm.
This update is also a direct contradiction to the videos that Myka shared (and monetized) as she and James finalized their adoption of their son. Back in 2017, she noted , "If anything, my child is not returnable. So when I heard all of the things that that doctor was telling us, it kind of went in one ear and out the other. I wasn't in a state of denial."
Myka and her husband also had conversations about potential disabilities and medical conditions. It's telling that for Myka, the "worst-case situation" is having a son in a wheelchair.
"I accepted and took on everything that she said, and I sat down with Jim and I said, 'You know, worst case situation, if our little boy at one point in his life, he needs to be in a wheelchair and he needed full on care, would you still love him? And we without a doubt in our minds, we knew, no matter what state he came to us that we would love him."
Parenting is not always easy, and it's actually often a big struggle. I don't think there's a parent alive who would tell you that it's a breeze. But in becoming a parent, you are choosing to raise and love a child without any promises or guarantees. This is something that Myka and James claimed to understand and believe, but their behavior now calls that into serious question.
Myka also said that the information from the adoption agency "didn't scare us" and in fact "solidified that this is more our son than he has ever been and we don't care what's wrong with him."
If the phrase "what's wrong with him" makes your skin crawl, I get it. Many parents of children who have disabilities will tell you that there's absolutely nothing "wrong" with their kids. Many disabled people will say the same about themselves. You know what is wrong, though? People who use the phrase "what's wrong with him."
In the same 2017 video, Myka also adds, "The only need that our little boy has is, he needs his mama not to be scared but needs his mama to come on and get him home so that he can have a nice family that really, truly cares about him and is not scared of what an MRI or CT scan says."
The worst part about the entire debacle is that this 4-year-old will grow up with this information out there, as it's been released by his own former parents. He'll see the monetized YouTube videos, and he'll hear their excuses. He'll have to deal with his name and his face being plastered all over the internet by the same people who claimed to be his parents.
Additionally, someone's health information is theirs and theirs alone. Parents of children with conditions and disabilities don't have an inherent right to share that information all over the internet — and to profit from it. They definitely shouldn't do so in pursuit of a glorified pat on the back.
Myka went on to state, "He's our son and that's that. We're not gonna trade him in, we're not gonna return him. He's our boy."
Sadly, for all the accolades she and James have received for being so selfless, it may well be that putting on a show for the internet just wasn't worth it anymore.
