Being a nanny takes a special kind of person. It's more than just loving kids and being good with them.
Nannies often find they need to go by a parent's rules, even when they don't personally agree. Usually it's not a huge ask, but it can become one when you meet a family that doesn't believe in rules.
One nanny took to Reddit to ask if she'd handled a situation badly. She explains she quit her job on the spot with a family who didn't believe in rules or consequences for their kids.
She tried to look past it, but she could only take so much. She hit her breaking point when one of the kids pushed her down the stairs while she was holding another.
A woman working as a nanny to get through the health crisis encountered a truly unique family that was beyond her capabilities. After being told by her client that she overreacted to an incident that caused her physical injury, she took to Reddit for some other opinions.
"4 months ago I took up a nanny gig. I needed to save up money for grad school and nobody was hiring due to Covid. I paid my way through college by nannying and babysitting so I thought it was a good idea," the original poster (OP) explained.
She felt optimistic when she met her new clients until she learned a bit more about them. There were four kids, a 5-year-old female, 4- and 3-year-old males, and a 7-month-old female. It sounded like she'd have her hands full, but she had no idea what she was up against.
"In all my years of child care I have never dealt with such poorly behaved children," the nanny revealed.
"Right when I started the parents made it clear that they don't believe in discipline (time outs, taking toys away, taking away TV time). They only do talk it out."
The nanny wasn't entirely unfamiliar with the method, but she quickly learned this was like nothing she'd ever experienced before.
"Now I've had families I worked with before who did that too, but it worked. It clearly did not work with these kids," she shared.
"Not only would they never listen to me but they would regularly hit, kick, bite, and spit on me."
"Now I'm not talking during tantrums, they would do it because they thought it was funny," she elaborated.
"Often times they'd grab my arm out of now and bite as hard as they could and start laughing. They made it a game. Almost every time I would bend down and get to their eye level to try and explain that behavior was unacceptable the kids would spit in my face."
"I had multiple talks with the parents about their behavior and they would always say they'd have a family discussion. Surprise, it never worked," she continued.
The nanny tried to stick it out, but a recent situation was her last straw. "I really wanted to quit but I needed the money. Last week I was holding the baby and walking down the stairs."
"The oldest girl came up behind me and pushed me down the stairs and started giggling."
Thankfully, no one was seriously hurt. When the nanny thought of how badly that could have gone, she knew what she had to do.
"I was able to keep the baby from getting hurt but I twisted my ankle. I was furious, the baby could have been crushed! I walked right into the mother's office and quit on the spot. She begged me to stay since they didn't have back up coverage, I said no and left immediately."
She thought that was that until she got texts later that day.
"Later that day I got a bunch of texts from the parents saying that I was overreacting, kids behave badly because they are still learning," she noted.
"I mean like yes but 1- I've worked with a lot kids before and none were that bad. 2- are they really learning if you don't discipline them (I'm not talking like spanking, time outs and stuff).
"I refused to come back until they find a new nanny. They said that one of them will have to take time off work that they don’t have. I still refused and they cussed me out. Was it wrong for refusing to stay until they got new coverage?"
Many people, parents and child-less alike, said she did the right thing.
"No, you were not wrong. A child pushing you down the stairs is NOT normal. A child spitting in your face is not normal. Children have tantrums and can do stuff like this in the midst of an emotional episode but not on a normal basis," one commenter wrote.
"Clearly there are some major parenting failures going on. If they can't be bothered to discipline their kids then why did they have so many of them? They either need to get into family therapy or find another discipline method before hiring a new nanny.
"Trust me when I tell you that this behavior will not be tolerated when they go to school. They will be in for a rude awakening when one of these kids does this to a teacher. You did not sign up to be abused."
A lot of commenters wanted to know more about the parents and get a feel for what kind of people they were.
"The parents were fine, they're just very… new age," OP explained.
"For example they don’t believe in modern medicine (they prefer herbs) and they don't really enforce the school's homework because it is 'too much' to ask of a child and they learn better by playing, even though they have shortened online instruction so it's really what they'd be doing in class.
"But you are correct that the younger two follow the lead of the oldest. She is really the instigator of the problems. When she is in online school things aren't too bad, as soon as she's out she starts things and gets the boys to join in."
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