Nannies and the parents who hire them often have relationships that are delicate. While everyone might get along well enough, there is an inherent power divide that is nearly impossible to bridge. After all, one person in the relationship is entirely reliant on the other for their income and quality of life … which means that nannies sometimes end up agreeing to things that sound completely absurd.
For example: A 22-year-old nanny shared on Reddit that she pretends to be Moana with the 3-year-old she takes care. On the surface, that's fine, right? Except that she has to pretend to be Moana every single day, and her employers recently asked her to perform as Moana for "Moana Day" at their home.
She refused, because she's completely done pretending to be the character for the toddler's amusement.
It all started innocently enough.
The nanny has somehow been pretending she's Moana since day one:
"So I'm (22f) a part time nanny and currently work for a wealthy couple. I look after two kids – 3F and 5M. The 3 year old is absolutely obsessed with Moana. When I first met her she immediately asked me if I'm Moana. I hesitated but her mother gave me a look and I kind of said yes. The little girl got so excited and at that point I had no idea what I was in for."
But now it's become her entire identity.
"Ever since that day I've had to pretend to be Moana. The woman actually paid me extra to keep up the act. I only responded to the name 'Moana' and told the girl all about my sea adventures."
It's really becoming a huge problem, and she wants out.
Now she can't do anything out of character or the girl gets upset:
"It quickly turned into a nightmare as I always had to be in character and make up stories. The girl became convinced I am Moana so if I did something a little out of character she would get very upset."
She asked the mom if they could end the arrangement.
"I've discussed with the mother that we would have to phase out of this Moana thing at some point in near future as I don't want to continue anymore. She said that this would be fine."
But then they asked her to come over for 'Moana Day.'
Apparently they have different ideas about what phasing out will look like:
"A few days ago the mother texted me a picture of a Moana costume and told me I would wear it for the family's upcoming 'Moana Day' (seriously, when is it not at that house?). I'd have to bring the cake out and afterwards there would be some pool activities with the kids."
She refused. Full stop.
The nanny said no:
"I told her immediately that I would not wear a costume or swim in the pool as Moana or continue role-playing. I was well aware that I could potentially lose my job over this but at that point I did not give a [expletive]."
The nanny isn't even Polynesian.
She went on to explain to her employer that she isn't even Polynesian, so it's really not appropriate for her to dress up as Moana at all:
"She said that she understands that this was 'a bit short notice' but it would really make her daughter happy. I told the lady that it's actually racially insensitive to shoehorn me into this role as I'm not even Polynesian. I told her that not all people with tan skin + wavy, black hair are from the same place. Her only response was that she's not racist and that she just wants the best for her children."
So she took matters into her own hands.
She decided to come clean with the 3-year-old:
"Yesterday I was with the kids and I gently told the little girl that I am not Moana, never was. She immediately started crying. Her brother hugged her and she just continued screaming. It was an absolute [expletive]. My ears are still ringing from all that screeching. Her mother was pissed off course."
Then the dad stepped in.
Next, the girl's dad took it upon himself to intervene:
"Afterwards the father spoke to me in private and said that although he understands that they're asking for a 'little too much', I should've known it's Moana Day soon. I was furious and asked him when is it not. Afterwards he went out to get some ice cream with his daughter while I stayed with the son."
She still has her job, though.
Somewhat surprisingly, she still has her job:
"Miraculously they have not fired me yet. I guess it's because their daughter calmed down, though it's still a very sensitive subject."
Now she's wondering: Was she wrong to tell the girl the truth?
The first comment pretty much sums it:
"I…..what?
Nta."
Reddit is totally united.
Not only does everyone agree the nanny isn't wrong, they're also surprised the family didn't consider a more suitable alternative. One commenter noted:
"I would add, that there are people who's literal job is to dress up as a princess. Wouldn't it be easier to hire one of the professional princesses for Moana day?"
Ultimately, being Moana is not her job. At all.
"That's a very, very difficult situation for a 22 year old to handle, but you did well," said a commenter.
"They are paying you to be a nanny not a Moana impersonating nanny, not a birthday entertainer, not a cosplayer, not a role player, not and actor."
These stories are based on posts found on Reddit. Reddit is a user-generated social news aggregation, web content rating, and discussion website where registered members submit content to the site and can up- or down-vote the content. The accuracy and authenticity of each story cannot be confirmed by our staff.
