People can change. It's something we don't always remember in this day and age, but the ability to change and grow and gain new understanding is there and available to any one of us, should we want to do it.
A former youth pastor decided to share his new perspective in a Facebook post where he apologized for rules he set for young girls. He explained that his changed opinion came when his step-daughter found herself in their shoes.
Bryce Brewer explained that in his time as a youth pastor, he would prohibit girls from wearing two-piece swimsuits at church functions. Now, he realizes that the boys needed talking to just as much if not more than the girls, and he took the time to call his old way of thinking out.
Bryce Brewer had a big realization during a recent shopping trip with his fiancé and her 10-year-old daughter to find a one-piece suit for a church summer camp. Bryce, a former youth pastor, shared the experience in a Facebook post.
"So I need to issue an apology (I am using some humor here too). I have been a youth pastor on and off for over 20 years, and I have issued the ridiculous ultimatum to my female students at summer camp," Bryce wrote.
"ONE PIECE SWIMSUITS ONLY"
"First of all I am sorry," he continued, going on to list the things he was sorry for.
"I am sorry that I didn’t teach boys to control themselves. I am sorry I laid the weight of purity on a girls swimsuit while she was swimming, and not on the boys responsibility to not be gross."
"I am sorry to all the girls that frantically searched for an appropriate one piece so that some male youth pastor could deem them appropriate," he continued. He then stopped to explain his story.
"I accompanied my fiancé and her daughter as we desperately looked for a cute one piece that would be appropriate for camp … it was hard and it sucked."
Bryce then continued his apologies. "I am sorry that we have deemed a young women's body as something that 'needs to be covered' and let young men's bodies be ok to be seen," he wrote.
"I am sorry I ever let this be an item of discussion, usually lead by men, at any youth leader meeting … this must have been awful for my female leaders and students to be part of."
Bryce also shared where he believed the live should be drawn. "I am still a fan of the 'No Produce Rule' – No buns, bananas, or breasts need to be seen," he wrote.
"But why are stomachs overtly sexual? Why is a little cleavage sinful? Why are women meant to feel they are responsible for men's actual sin of lust?"
"So I am sorry to all the students, especially female, that we subjugated to our rules. I am sorry to my female students as the desperately tried to search for a swimsuit in the days leading up to camp. I am sorry if you felt sexualized by us telling you to cover up," he concluded.
"I am sorry I didn’t teach boys to be men, and laid that responsibility on young women. Female students, wear a swimsuit that lets you have fun. Male students, stop being disgusting and control yourself. Youth pastors (male especially), stop being chauvinist and making female students feel bad for having breasts. Christians, live like Jesus."
Many people praised Bryce for acknowledging his changed attitudes and encouraging others to look at some of the beliefs they hold.
"As a 37-year-old woman who hates and loathes literally every inch of her own skin, thank you for this." one commenter wrote. "I have spent my life thinking my body is something to be hidden, to be ashamed of, a source of evil. Thanks to the church."
She added: "I even unintentionally taught my daughters the same, but I have been working the past couple of years to right that wrong. Thank you for taking the first step to right that wrong. I hope and pray that my daughters can learn to love themselves and their bodies, I never have."
Some people still felt that Bryce had more to learn from his experience. "Still way off," one commenter wrote.
"Why are boys disgusting for finding girls beautiful and desirable? Yes, teach them to be respectful & honorable, but stop making bodies, natural urges and sexuality sinful. Start teaching youth how to have healthy views of sex, self, & others."
