Have you ever found yourself apologizing a little too often, or trying to make yourself as small as possible in a room?
Everyone is guilty of these things. However, women are more likely to do this as a result of the all-too-frequent double standards and prejudices that they've suffered throughout history. It's no fault of our own, but we can make a conscious decision to change our ways. As a result, we'll all be much happier people, and much more powerful and confident women.
I, myself, am guilty of saying most (if not all) of these 11 phrases. I'm sure that most of us say them without noticing, and also not realizing how damaging they can be to our personhood. By simply cutting out these words, there can be a massive change in how we feel about ourselves, and how others perceive us.
Do you use any of these phrases in your everyday life? Do you think that you'll try cutting them out to see how it goes? Please SHARE with the the important women in your life!
[H/T: Family Share]
1. "No worries."
When something isn't fine, don't let that person off the hook so easily. Talk through the things that need to be talked about, and don't undervalue your opinions and feelings. This can turn into an "everybody needs to like me even when I need to get things done" defense mechanism.
2. "I can't eat that."
More specifically: "I can't eat that because I didn't work out today," or, "I was good yesterday so I'm allowed to eat cake today."
This is something to plan out in your own mind. There's no need to justify what you eat to the world; never apologize for your choice to fuel your body as you please. What you choose to eat is your own business!
This phrase can also lead to disordered eating, or trigger habits for those around you who are already struggling through their own silent battle.
3. "Does that make sense?"
Be confident with what you do and what you say. If something doesn't make sense, let someone ask you to clarify instead of assuming that you aren't understood in the first place.
4. "I can't pull that off."
My favorite thing to tell women is if you want to pull it off, then you can pull it off. Don't be afraid to take risks and do what makes you happy just because you're afraid you won't "pull it off." Be your truest self, no matter what.
5. "Men don't like that."
First, all men are different and will love the ones they love for vastly different reasons, so this phrase is already moot. Second, you don't have to make changes to be attractive for a man. That is, unless you truly want to in your heart of hearts.
6. "I just think..." or "I just thought..."
Again, be confident. Be precise. Let your thoughts and feelings be known and heard, so drop the "just," because you don't need it.
7. "I don't have female friends because they're too dramatic."
This is a vast generalization that I've been guilty of saying, too. What I've since found out is that I mean, "I don't need unnecessary drama in my life from anyone, man or woman." Plus, it's not fair to put all women under this stereotype, especially because you'd be putting yourself into the same category!
8. "You look so thin!"
Try "you look so healthy," or "you look so happy." Being skinny shouldn't be the only thing women compliment each other on, especially since it is often achieved through deprivation, or even sickness. Support each other in healthy ways instead of perpetuating unfair standards.
This also implies that you didn't think the person was worthy of a compliment before, and that her weight is the main thing defining her worth, which simply isn't true.
9. "I'm high/low maintenance."
You are not a thing to be maintaine — it's as simple as that! You are who you are, whether you take a long time to get ready in the morning or not.
10. "I mean..."
Remember when your English teacher used to ask you to cut the fat from your sentences? Cut all phrases that beg for justification from your vocabulary and you'll come off as a much more confident woman: "I mean, what do you think?" versus "What do you think?"
11. "I'm sorry."
Apologizing when you're at fault is fine, but many women over-apologize in order to please others when there's nothing to be sorry for. Don't apologize for being yourself! This is the biggest offense on the list, and the word that will make the biggest difference to your mood.
It's not only women who are guilty of these words. However, if we consciously cut them from our vocabularies, we'll immediately see a different life we can make for ourselves and for those around us.
Most of the phrases and words on this list are a form of apology when no apology is needed, so the moral of the story is this: Stop apologizing for living your life, for having feelings, and for having important, valuable opinions. It'll be so much better to celebrate who you are.
Please SHARE with all the wonderful women in your life!
