If you’re looking for a support system post-pregnancy, or you want to lend a metaphorical hand to less-experienced mothers, there’s a few Reddit groups for that.
One mom dealing with mother-in-law drama and Thanksgiving stress turned to the website for advice on how to manage a tense relationship with her husband’s mom.
The mother-in-law has spread rumors about the new mom to other family members, and now she's invited herself on a family vacation, threatening the new mom’s time with her baby. The new mom took to Reddit to ask: “Am I being selfish and unreasonable towards MIL or no?”
Mother-in-law tags along on daughter-in-law’s family trip.
“We planned a trip for thanksgiving with my family, husband, and LO,” the original poster (OP) wrote, using LO to stand for Little One, or the baby.
“This is LO’s first holiday with my family. MIL doesn’t want to miss any of LO’s first holidays and has a lot of money and free time, so as soon as she heard about it, she got a ticket too.”
Her husband’s mom is spreading rumors to other family members.
“For background on maybe why I’m annoyed, MIL complains to the rest of her family that I keep LO from her,” she continues, referring to her husband’s mother.
“Now they resent me for it and stick up for her. Anytime I talk to them about the baby, there's a passive aggressive comment about how I should let her spend time with LO.”
There has been tension ever since the mom set boundaries around her mother-in-law and the baby.
“This I think started because in his first week, I took him back from her after he showed hunger cues,” she wrote about her first few days as a mom.
“She had a habit of hiding in another room and giving him a pacifier when he was hungry so she’d have more cuddle time. So on day like 5 of this, I asked for him back as usual and she said he’s not hungry, so I just grabbed him. Or it might because I put boundaries around kissing on the face and visiting when you’re sick, and she didn’t like that.”
She is seeing the baby a lot, actually.
“Ever since then she tells people she never sees LO, and I keep him away from her. On the contrary,” OP clarified, “she sees him at least once a week. In his first month, she saw him every other day.” She even lets her mother-in-law watch him one full day a week while she goes to work.
The family of the poster wants her to take it slow this holiday season.
“My sister knows I’ve been stressed lately so asked what she could do to help. I said I just want to cuddle LO all day. So for Thanksgiving, her and my mom said they would do all the cooking… so that I can have maximum LO time.” She added that the gesture “meant a lot” and she was “excited.”
An insensitive text message from her mother-in-law was the last straw.
“Today she texted me and mom 'I can't wait to snuggle LO all day while you guys cook!' This just set me off because I was supposed to be the one snuggling LO!” she confessed.
“She's also not cooking anything, she said she would bring money to cover some groceries,” she added. When OP asked her own mom what to do, she told her to let her husband’s mom carry the baby while she joined in on cooking with her mom and sister.
She’s looking for outside advice, now.
“My mom's response bothered me too,” she wrote. “Am I overreacting a little?”
The commenters in general seem to be taking the writer’s side.
One user said, “Cuddle your baby this Thanksgiving. You deserve that.” Then they added, “You’ll resent her if you let her take this time away from you. She had her babies already, tell her to back off.”
Some commenters want to know: What does dad think about his mom’s behavior?
“Boundaries are needed. She sounds crazy manipulative,” someone added. “Hubby needs to step up!!”
“I think you need to talk to your husband about this,” another user wrote. “He should be the one to crack the whip on her not you.”
These stories are based on posts found on Reddit. Reddit is a user-generated social news aggregation, web content rating, and discussion website where registered members submit content to the site and can up- or down-vote the content. The accuracy and authenticity of each story cannot be confirmed by our staff.
