A mom in Vermont was infuriated when her daughter's teachers handed out an intimate survey about students' sexual history.
Vanessa Beach's 10-year-old daughter, Zoe, was in class last week when her guidance counselors handed out a questionnaire. The questions included intimate ones about students' sexual and romantic history. One asked about sexual orientation, while another asked about relationships.
Although students were instructed to hand the paper back into their teachers, Zoe put her copy into her pocket. She took it home and showed it to her mom.
And when Vanessa saw the survey, she was, understandably, shocked and outraged. She took to Facebook to share her thoughts:
“Zoe did a survey at school today and I am reading it and see this… now I don’t think sexuality is a dirty thing don’t get me wrong and by that I mean ANY sexuality i am pro do you 100%. that being said I am honestly a little taken aback that the schools thinks it’s ok to ask my child about her and her peers sexuality at the age of ten.”
She wasn’t the only one upset. Her Facebook post got a lot of attention, prompting the school to explain the backstory behind the survey — which is somehow even more shocking.
Vanessa Beach's 10-year-old daughter Zoe came home from school last week with something to show her mom. Her teachers had handed out a survey, asking about her and the other students' sexual and romantic history.
The survey included questions about students' sexual orientation, whether they've been in a relationship, and whether they'd had a sexual partner.
Vanessa was outraged:
“What if my child was having a hard time with her sexuality?? What if any child in that class were!! Do you really feel like it’s your jobs to make them put an answer on paper for others to read!!?? I find this ridiculous and unnerving to say the least.”
Furious, Vanessa contacted the school.
"I spoke with the school," Vanessa told Scary Mommy, "and the first person was the guidance counselor who told me she herself had reservations about the survey and several teachers also expressed concern. That bothered me a lot."
The superintendent told Vanessa that, if he or the principal had seen the survey first, it wouldn't have gone out to students, she says.
The survey was distributed by WISE, a group that advocates against gender-based violence.
"The point of this survey," Vanessa explained, "was to follow my daughter and her peers throughout high school collecting data on their sexuality and relationships — for the next six years.”
Apparently, an "opt out" form was sent home to parents who didn't want their children to participate in the survey. But Vanessa and many other parents say they never received that form.
Vanessa wasn't the only parent upset about the ordeal. And after her Facebook post went viral, a lot of social media users were outraged on her behalf, too.
Some called for teachers to "let kids be kids," while others were just really feeling bad for Vanessa and Zoe.
One astute commenter pointed out that these personal questions aren't even allowed in job interviews. For adults.
And these are 10-YEAR-OLD students we're talking about here, who likely haven't even gone through puberty yet.
For such young kids, questions about sexuality are beyond inappropriate.
Kids that age should never have to explain their sexuality to anyone, one commenter said.
Some teachers also chimed in, supporting the message that this is not OK.
And another commenter pointed out how uncomfortable it would be for a child to have to answer questions like this.
In a follow-up post, Vanessa said that the school board agreed to an emergency meeting to address parents' concerns.
Vanessa says she "loves" the school, but feels they "dropped the ball" with this one.
Surveys like this, and the opt-out form policy, are "protected by Vermont state law," Vanessa says, making this a useful cautionary tale for any parent.
