How I Survive The Holidays On My Single Mom Budget And Still Give My Kids A Magical Christmas

The holiday season is undoubtedly magical anytime, but once you have kids, the magic really returns full force. These days, as a single mom of two kids who are 5 and 10, my excitement about Christmas mostly has to do with watching my kids wake up bright and early and see what's under the tree for them. The thing about being a single parent, though, is that I have to be extra careful with my holiday budget to make sure "Santa" accomplishes the Christmas must-dos and that there's enough under that tree to avoid disappointment. 

When you live paycheck to paycheck, figuring out how you’re going to afford to buy presents for not just your kids but everyone else on your nice list can be stressful. And the truth is, stressing over money can easily suck the joy and the magic right out of this time of year. It’s only my second year as a single mom to two kids, so I'm still learning a lot about how to budget, plan, and keep the magic alive. But I've also figured out that the holidays don't have to completely derail your finances, no matter your income.

Here's how I survive the holidays on my single mom budget.

I take the time to find the best deals.

One thing I've found about holiday shopping is that you can pretty much always find the things your kids want for a better deal if you do some digging. For that reason, at least when it comes to the bigger items, I always spend some time looking them up online. Just walking into a store and grabbing products off the shelf is never a good idea. Holiday deals are constantly popping up online. It takes a bit of effort, but making a plan, doing a bit of research on each item, and finding the best price ends up saving me tons of money.

I emphasize giving.

It sounds cliché, but emphasizing giving over receiving is a great way to avoid overspending on your kids. The truth is, kids love doing things for others, whether it's friends or family. If they have some of their own money saved, they can get a lot of joy out of buying and giving their own gifts or putting their energy into handmade items.

I don't overdo it.

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It is incredibly easy to get caught up in the materialization of the holiday season. I've certainly done it in the past, but these days, I don't really have that option. I will typically give my kids one thing they want, one thing they need, a book, and perhaps another small item. Between myself and all the gifts they get from others, it ends up being more than enough.

I give experiences.

In the past, when things have been tight, I've given "experience" gifts that can be cashed in later so I don't have to spend the money when I don't have it. For example, planning a special event like going to see Disney on Ice, a play, musical performance, or whatever they are interested in can be really exciting and special. Plus, you can purchase it after Christmas or whenever you find the best deal. For Christmas Day, you can wrap a flyer or other token item so your kids have something to unwrap.

I let the grandparents give the best gifts.

I used to fight my kids' grandparents over how much stuff they got the kids and the fact that they always gave the best presents. As a parent, I wanted the best gifts to come from me. These days, I'm way more lenient. I don't care if the biggest, most fun, most expensive gifts come from me or someone else — it doesn't really matter to the kids, and it just makes me happy to see them get the thing they really wanted. Plus, the grandparents absolutely love to do it. Why not let them?

I write letters.

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In the past few years, I started a new tradition of giving a simple, meaningful gift that doesn't cost anything (minus the cost of a sheet of paper and some ink). I write letters to everyone I care about. Truthfully, friends and family appreciate a heartfelt letter telling them how much they meant to me this year. I wrap one and give one to each of my kids, as well. While they might not totally appreciate it as much as a new outfit or toy, I like to think that one day they'll look back and remember this tradition and even write letters to their own kids.

I craft, bake, and make.

Making things for friends and family is really fun! Luckily, I learned to knit a few years ago. Some of my kids' favorite winter items — like my daughter's swirly rainbow scarf and my son's bright red hat (his favorite color) — were made by me and given as Christmas gifts.

The same goes for other family members, and just about every friend who has a baby has a tiny knitted hat from me. It's cheap. It's meaningful. And it helps my kids see that the holidays are not all about shopping. Likewise, we bake cookies for friends and neighbors together and have fun doing a couple of simple crafts that don't cost much at all.

I practice being present.

Life is busy, especially as a single parent. Now more than ever, I find the chaos weighing on me. Between working, driving the kids to and fro, making dinners, and doing everything else that I need to do to keep everything from falling apart, life rarely slows down, and it certainly doesn't around the holidays.

But just because life doesn't slow down doesn't mean that I have to give into the constant hustle and bustle. There are always going to be a thousand things to do — cooking, baking, shopping, and more. I try hard to stay present, though, because if I'm not actually enjoying the holidays with my kids, then what is the point? Doing a little bit less and being a little more focused on my family is definitely the best gift I can give, not just to my kids, but to myself. The best part is, it doesn't cost a penny.