Motherhood is already a full-time job, but when you’re also caring for an aging parent, the weight and responsibility of being “sandwich moms,” can feel overwhelming. You’re juggling school drop-offs, doctor appointments, meal prep, and late-night worries … sometimes all in the same day. Maybe you’ve had to take a work call while helping your son with his math homework or rush from your parents’ pharmacy run to your kid’s soccer practice without a moment to breathe.
If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Caregiving moms — often called the “sandwich generation” — are stretched thin, pouring from a cup that feels emptier by the day. But you don’t have to do it all alone. Building a strong support system can make a world of difference, whether it’s emotional support from friends, practical help from family, or professional resources that lighten the load.
LittleThings spoke with Ny’l Thompson, LCSW-C, MS, a licensed therapist who specializes in anxiety, depression, relationship issues, self-esteem, and family dynamics, for her expert advice and tips to help you create a reliable support system so you can care for your loved ones without losing yourself in the process. Because, mama, you deserve help, too.
Why Sandwich Moms Need a Strong Support System
Ny’l explains that being a “sandwich mom” means caring for both aging parents and young children. It places significant emotional, physical, and mental demands on a woman. Without a strong support system, the risks of burnout, stress-related health issues, and emotional exhaustion increase. Many caregiving moms experience guilt, feeling like they’re not giving enough to either generation, which can take a toll on their self-esteem and mental well-being.
“A strong support system helps alleviate this burden [of guilt] by providing emotional validation, practical assistance, and a sense of community. It prevents isolation, which is a common struggle for caregivers, and allows moms to prioritize self-care which is something essential for maintaining their own health and resilience,” Ny’l tells LittleThings.
Ny’l adds that having reliable support can lead to better caregiving outcomes, as moms who are well-supported are more patient, present, and emotionally available for both their children and parents.
Here are 10 tips for caregiving moms to build their village:
1. Accept That You Can't Do It All
The first step to building a support system is recognizing that you need one. Trying to do it all will only lead to burnout and exhaustion. Let go of the guilt and remind yourself that asking for help doesn’t make you any less capable — it makes you human.
2. Ask for Help & Be Specific
Ny’l says that many caregivers feel like they must do everything alone, but delegation is key. Therefore, it’s important to identify tasks that can be outsourced to family members, close friends, or hired help.
When someone says, “Let me know if you need anything,” don’t brush it off. Instead, be specific — ask them to pick up groceries, help with meal prep, accompany a parent to medical appointments, walk the dog, or help with school drop-offs. People want to help, but they need to know how.
3. Identify Your Core Support Network
Make a list of trusted friends, family members, and neighbors who can step in when needed. Even small favors — like a friend picking up groceries or a neighbor watching your kids for an hour — can lighten your load.
4. Join a Caregiver Support Group
Ny’l explains that whether online or in person, support groups for caregivers provide a space to share experiences, gain advice, and feel less alone in the journey.
Facebook groups, local community centers, and even hospital networks often offer spaces where caregiving moms can vent, share resources, and exchange advice.
5. Set Boundaries
If you’re always saying “yes,” burnout is inevitable. Ny’l advises establishing clear expectations with family members about what you can and cannot do.
Learn to set limits — whether it’s telling your boss you can’t work late every night or discussing clear expectations with siblings about sharing caregiving responsibilities. It’s OK to say no and protect your mental well-being.
6. Build a Network of Like-Minded Moms
Ny’l says that similar to joining a support group, you can connect with other “sandwich moms” who understand the unique challenges of balancing both generations. School networks, church groups, or local mom meetups can be great places to start. Consider forming a babysitting swap, a meal train, or even just a group chat where you can vent without judgment.
7. Utilize Professional Resources
Therapists, social workers, and financial planners can help you manage the emotional and logistical challenges of caregiving. Don’t hesitate to reach out to experts who can lighten your mental and emotional load.
“Therapy, respite care, and community services can provide both emotional and practical support. Seeking professional guidance isn’t a sign of failure — it’s a step toward sustainability,” says Ny’l.
8. Prioritize Self-Care
A strong support system includes people who remind you to care for yourself, too. Schedule non-negotiable self-care moments — even if it’s just a coffee break, a short walk, or a 10-minute meditation.
“A support system isn’t just about getting help, it’s about making sure you have time for yourself. Whether it’s exercise, a hobby, or quiet moments of reflection, scheduling time for yourself is crucial,” Ny’l shares with LittleThings.
9. Create a Care Team for Your Parent
You don’t have to be the only one taking care of your aging parent. Involve siblings, extended family, and even close friends. If finances allow, consider hiring a part-time caregiver to ease the burden.
10. Use Technology to Your Advantage
Apps like Care.com, TaskRabbit, and Nextdoor, can help you find reliable babysitters, house cleaners, and meal delivery services. Family scheduling apps like Cozi or Google Calendar can also keep everyone on the same page.
You are doing so much, and it’s OK to need support. No one can do this alone. Being a sandwich mom means juggling a million things at once, but building a strong support system can help lighten the load.
Whether it’s leaning on friends, setting boundaries, or using available resources, every small step you take toward asking for help is a step toward a healthier, more balanced life. You deserve rest, care, and support just as much as the loved ones you care for. So, take a deep breath, reach out, and remember , you are not alone in this journey.
