A Boston dad's Twitter thread about toxic masculinity is so spot-on, other parents can't stop sharing it.
While Aaron Gouveia's son, Sam, was growing up, Aaron and his wife encouraged Sam to enjoy whatever he wanted to enjoy, regardless of whether it was "for girls" or "for boys." As a result, 5-year-old Sam is really into wearing purses and painting his nails. For most of his young life, he didn't think twice about it – nor should he!
But then Sam went to school.
Unfortunately, old-school ideas about gender are still in full swing in many classrooms and homes. Boys are often bullied for wearing pink, having long hair, or doing other "girly" things.
"For 5 years he's never been afraid to be different because different has never meant 'bad,'" Aaron tweeted. "Until now."
After wearing red nail polish to school one day, Sam came home crying and asking his mom to remove it from his nails. Aaron's heart broke.
The dad of three penned a now-viral Twitter thread, perfectly capturing Sam's dilemma.
"This is my son, Sam. He's 5. And today he learned how sh***y and harmful #ToxicMasculinity is," Aaron Gouveia, owner of the site Daddy Files, wrote on Twitter.
"My rage meter is spiking right now so excuse me if this is a little raw but there are some things I want to say about BS #gender norms."
Aaron went on to explain that, while his son Sam is what many would call a "boy's boy," he's also into some traditionally feminine things.
"Sam has a collection of purses because he likes to carry things around," Aaron wrote.
"And he also loves to have his nails painted bright colors because he thinks they 'look beautiful.' And he's right — they are beautiful."
Sam started kindergarten this year. Earlier this week, he proudly wore red nail polish to school without a second thought.
It didn't even occur to Sam that other kids would have a problem with his nails. And yet, they did.
After being taunted by his classmates all day, Sam "collapsed" into his mom's arms at pickup time.
"He was devastated at how other kids turned on him, even his friends," Aaron said.
"Daddy, I want mommy to take off the nail polish so they don't make fun of me," Sam told his father over the phone through sobs.
Aaron's heart broke.
Aaron was heartbroken that his son was suddenly self-conscious about something that had only brought him joy before.
The angry father mostly blames parents and other caregivers who pass these views on to their kids — although we know that kids can also pick these things up from society.
Aaron had a long talk with Sam. He explained that the kids at school were probably just jealous of his nails.
"I told Sam he could take off the nail polish if he wanted but lots of guys wear it like Thor (@chrishemsworth) & Capt. Jack Sparrow," Aaron tweeted.
"He asked if his fav football player @robgronkowski did. I'm not sure but I told him yes. Sorry, Gronk."
Sam thought long and hard about his options, then made a decision.
Inspired, this dad decided to paint his own nails, too. Sam picked out the color, called Main Squeeze.
Aaron concluded his thread by directing any future bullies to check out his own nail polish.
With a certain finger standing straight up to send a message.
Which is EXACTLY the right response.
Go, Dad!
In response to Aaron's moving thread, other Twitter users began to share similar stories. Some folks even painted their own nails in solidarity with Sam.
Including an entire office department at Salesforce in London!
All that support really helped Sam.
"He was on the fence about wearing his red nails to school this morning," Aaron told Scary Mommy. "But seeing all the positivity helped him decide to do it.”
Someday, the days when little boys were bullied for being girly will be a distant memory. But until then, it's crucial that dads like Aaron continue to speak up for kids like Sam.
